Is it normal for my Mother-in-law to plan family vacations with MY family but not allow me to come?

[gerard]

My Mother-in-law hates me. She plans family vacations for MY family and will not invite me. Is this normal? She wants just her son and my daughter. She has tried this numerous times and each time, I put my foot down. The first time, she wanted to rent a house on the cape (my husband would be splitting it, just to be clear), with her daughter and my husband. She wanted just her daughter and her kids, my husband and my oldest daughter to come but not me. He paid for it without even asking me because he said it wasn't a big deal and it shouldn't bother me. It made me cry and I refused to allow it. She does this all the time. She has him come over to her house for the weekend or out to the city for a weekend. She even does it when I am visiting at her house already. She will make a plan to take my husband and my daughter to the beach but it is a "special grandmother thing" that I am not invited to. This most recent time, she planned a trip to Boston for her own daughter's 40th birthday and invited only my husband and my daughter. She made it very clear that my youngest daughter (we have two) and myself were not invited. He says that this is normal. He tells me that everyone does this and I am crazy. There have been times when we have been visiting and getting along wonderfully and she will take him aside and whisper to him to remember that I am not allowed to come to some event she has planned. I am so sick of it. It is ruining our marriage. I don't want to be a part of this kind of family. So, is it normal for a mother-in-law to exclude her son's spouse and for him to allow it?

[westbroc90]

Read Generis chapter 2 vs 24

[anglesey34]

No it isn't normal, she is just being very horrible and picky. Stand up to her and speak to your husband:), hope this gets sorted out!

[gowan]

No this is not normal, you have a very mean spirited Mother-in-law and a mean spirited husband. Where is your husbands back bone, he needs to be standing up for you. Shame on him! I would hope the daughter that is invited would speak up and insist that if the rest of the family can't come then she's not going either. If your husband thinks this is normal than he does not know what normal is. Have a serious talk with him and get him to go to counseling with you because if you don't things are not going to get better. It's only going to get worse. Don't put up with it and don't give in. Good Luck to you.

[chiram97]

Definitely not! Hey, did you know that mother-in-laws usually do not like their daughter-in-laws or son-in-laws? My grandmother (mom's side) hates my dad, and had big rows. Finally she stopped visiting. So it's normal for mother-in-laws to dislike, but not plan family vacations with all your family but you. So the answer is no!

[seme22]

The problem is not between you and your mother-in-law. The problem is between you and your husband. You know it and he knows it.

If you what you are saying is accurate, then he is also actively keeping you away from these activities. He sounds like a real prize.

Seek counseling.