Can stbx take our son on vacation out of state when I said I do not agree?

[avikar76]

My husband and I are divorcing due to him continuously bringing our son around his family members who are known meth addicts, (Mainly his mom who I found out sexually abused my husband when he was a kid, his siblings and another grandchild recently who we had custody of for over a year because of it. And his sister who lost custody of her kids to the state for drug abuse and child abuse/neglect)

We have a temporary order. He has a lawyer I do not. I have Primary Placement and he has weekend visitation each weekend. He lives in MN and I live in WI. Our order does not stipulate "vacations" but does say he can not keep our son out of WI for more than 96 hours (4days)

His lawyer keeps asking me to allow him to take our son on vacation for a 6-7 days to ND. I keep saying no. Just last week I had to file a child abuse restraining order because he left our son with his sister while he worked even though I begged him not to and gave him numerous other options. He was angry with me so he did it anyways.

I try not to interfere. Our order also states not to have significant others around our son because he is only 5 and doesn't understand these things. Yet he has his girlfriend around him each weekend. I haven't complained. I am actually thrilled and hope she is there to keep an eye on things because I really don't trust his judgment given the secrets about his family that have came to surface. (Just stating this so you don't think I am one of those crazy ladies that use their children to play games with their ex.)

My biggest concerns are of his immediate relatives who are all addicted to something, drugs, alcohol, or prescription meds. They were never allowed around our son or us in the decade we were together by his wishes not mine. I never met most of them just heard stories from him. I have no reason to dislike these people except for the reasons he gave me while we were together. Now that we are apart he is back in touch with his sister and mom and other relatives as well. He often threatens to leave our son with them because he knows I fear something bad will happen in their care. Since he did this just a few weeks ago and the judge and Guardian Ad Litem both agreed these people should not be around our son, and were willing to grant the child abuse order, He finally agreed to sign off on not allowing contact between his mother and sister. I then dismissed the child abuse part because I didn't want our son to be devastated by not being able to see or talk to dad so I just asked that he not be allowed to have these kinds of people around when its his placement times. Everyone agreed. And the order wasn't dismissed but is basically in the air and can be brought back to the table if need be. There is also a restraining order for 4 years in place for him contacting and threatening me. So we can only discuss things now through his attorney.

I explained to his attorney why I felt the relatives he is going to visit are unsafe. She said that vacations are often granted in family court, and that he said he feels these certain relatives are safe now even tho they had drug problems in the past. So basically he says they are sober now. I dunno if that is true. So I say no.

If he goes ahead and takes my son out of state even for just the weekend what can I do if anything in the state of Wisconsin? I googled but come up with conflicting answers any law savvy people on here today that might have some input??

(YES I AM AWARE I NEED A LAWYER, but I can't afford one with trying to start over from scratch. If I could I would. Everyone tells me this. I wish I could, there is not legal aid in my area, its not possible for me to have one so I will save ya the time of informing me I need one. )

Thanks

[lamarr3]

You will be eaten alive. You can't afford NOT to have a lawyer.
You shouldn't be talking with his lawyer out of court.

[teyo]

Send an email to his attorney. Be very polite and explain that you appreciate the attorney is claiming that his family members are now clean and sober but point out that addictions have a very high rate of relapse under the best of circumstances. Because of this state that you need to rely on the plain language of the temporary order and cannot agree to a longer period. I would also remind the attorney that your ex has a documented history of taking the child around inappropriate people and his judgment that these people "are safe now" cannot be relied upon. State in the email that because his judgment is so questionable and because those relatives were not allowed to be around your child before the separation, you will reinstate your request for no unsupervised contact with his father if his father takes the child out of state to see them.

[jordi]

Get a lawyer and do not let hime take your son.