Can you please review my letter to my state senator.?

[osbourne]

I writing a letter to my state senator trying to repeal the state ban on fireworks. I live in Ohio btw. I was wondering if this gets my point across and if I should add any more. thank you.

Dear Senator Hughes,
First let me thank you for taking the time to read this as I am sure that you are a very busy man. I am writing to you today about Ohio’s current fireworks law. Around this time I begin contemplating the meaning of the fourth of July. Also, about how it has traditionally been celebrated by its citizens with the lighting of fireworks. To me it seems that the people’s personal responsibly should be trusted when dealing with fireworks.
As you know, the current state law allows the sale of all fireworks as long as they are legal under federal law. The catch is that they may not be set off in Ohio and must be moved beyond the borders within 48 hours after the purchase. We all know that most of those who purchase fireworks do not take them out of the state and light them illegally in Ohio. They face a punishment of up to a one thousand dollar fine and six months in jail. This law turns many hardworking Ohioans into criminals for celebrating their national heritage. This is similar to allowing the sale of potato chips but not allowing them to be eaten in Ohio. Sounds ridiculous right?
When thinking about this law one is reminded of prohibition. The prohibition of alcohol lasted from 1920 to 1933 and during that time many goodhearted Americans were driven to break the law just so they could enjoy harmlessly what they had enjoyed for years. That law was unjust like the current Ohio fireworks law is unjust. Some Americans are restricting the freedoms of others because they see what they do as “pointless”.
Our neighbor to the west, Indiana allows firework to be set off within their borders. According to the Indiana State Department of Health, there were a total of 116 fireworks related injuries in the state of Indiana. In comparison, in 2009 according to estimates from the Consumer Product Safety Commission there were 18,000 reports of injuries due to grilling nationwide. When you look at it, even where legal, fireworks are not as hazardous as they are made up to be.
What I am looking to accomplish by writing this letter is to persuade you to begin talks of legalizing Class 1.4G fireworks. The current fireworks law is unjust and needs to be changed. It turns every day Americans into lawbreakers. Many Ohioans already use fireworks so legalizing Class 1.4G fireworks will only prevent them from being turned into criminals. Let me again thank you for taking the time to read this letter.

[danil70]

You did a very nice job. I would send it, but don't be surprised if you get nothing more than a " Thank You " if even that. I doubt if the Senator will even see your letter, but it's worth a try. Good Luck.

[philibert63]

Pretty good letter with structure. you should submit.

[aviya]

Pretty good letter with structure. you should submit.

Very well written. I live in Texas and San Antonio has banned even the sale of fireworks. In this way people wont be tempted. This could end up happening in your state and others. It goes by county here.