Dealing with the past and rape?

by **aldric13** » Fri Mar 02, 2012 12:31 pm

Hey, I''m 28 and apparently have issues. I'll give it to u straight up. I watched the guy that raped my sister crawl thru her basement window. He saw me and asked me to leave. I sat on the stairs knowing something was up ( was 15) I heard him rape my sister. He was a known friend. At the time i thought they had a thing going. Now i look back and realize how stupid i was. n e way. it went to court, and my sister testified as his friends watched her cry throughout her testimony, my turn was next, same thing. I told the court what i saw and heard while they questioned me and taunted me. We lost the case. My sister and i both dropped out of school ( prior to this we had a lot of friends) our friends turned against us and joined his side. We both turned to drugs and went our own ways. I got mixed up in hard drugs. i hated who i was and need to numb what happened. Know this, i came from a good strong family. I started not caring about who i was or life. The memories just kept coming back. I partied and got high and then it was my turn. I got raped. Kept it inside. Never told a soul. Here I am 28, cant forget the past. Think about how it was my fault my sister ended up in the situation she did. Humiliated. I deserved it. End of conversation. But wtf can I not forgive myself for not protecting my sister??? I have now been clean for 12 years but it keeps eating at me. I live In Canada where we have a f**ked up law, but is there n e 1 one to talk to about this so i can move on with my life?

by **luther** » Fri Mar 02, 2012 12:31 pm

Therapy

by **valentino** » Fri Mar 02, 2012 12:34 pm

Use google to find a rape counselor in your area and go there.

by **cumhea** » Fri Mar 02, 2012 12:43 pm

People don't tend to listen to women who say they've been raped anymore. Especially if the man accused is a friend to those people. They know him, and they know your sister, they side with the one they most likely believe. They are in a messed up situation where they have to decide which is the bigger wrong. The rape, or the accusation<-- The accusation, if false, is a terrible thing to happen to anyone. So if people think this terrible thing is being brought upon their friend by your sister, the chances are they will vilify you for it. There are people you can talk to, you just have to look. Therapists deal with this stuff everyday.

by **vruyk** » Fri Mar 02, 2012 12:49 pm

: (

People are horrible. men are horrible.

sue him and sue the other guy too. Even if you lose make him spend for defense.

by **arrigo** » Fri Mar 02, 2012 12:57 pm

email me- by the way am a woman - would be happy to talk privately if you would like that we have similar backgrounds.

by **talbot** » Fri Mar 02, 2012 12:58 pm

Therapy with a counsellor who does NOT possess an agenda - those with an agenda always make things worse for you and anyone associated with you. **Hard to find these days**.

Be sure to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth - your stated background gives rise to doubts so you need to be honest and upfront.

Also -don't take it personally if a counsellor refuses your case - they have the right to do that - and some may feel that they themselves could be harmed by accepting your case.

by **jorel** » Fri Mar 02, 2012 1:02 pm

cool story bro

by **philibert63** » Fri Mar 02, 2012 1:07 pm

There is still a time........u can testified that stupid boys sin.

by **caspar99** » Fri Mar 02, 2012 1:18 pm

It's not often that someone with a serious question and problem posts on this board. There are a lot of trolls on this board that just post to illicit responses from people so just ignore them. What you need is professional counseling and therapy. These underlying emotional issues that both you and your sister experienced will not go away until you face and understand them. I am no counselor so cannot help you other then to tell you that that is what you need.

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