Does this sound good?

[orlondo100]

i know its really short, but i'd love some feedback:)

As if it were the answer to all his problems, Damon took his glass and poured himself yet another bourbon. He closed his eyes as the soothing liquid trickled down his throat and he sighed in appreciation. The alcohol was definitely doing its job. He didn't feel a thing. All the pain was gone and his aching muscles were long forgotten.
Damon finished the bottle with one last swig and his mouth formed a perfect pout. His brows furrowed and, to make sure it was completely empty, he tipped the bottle up, trying to catch any dregs that might have dropped. Nothing came to satisfy his thirst.
Damon closed his eyes as his grip on the bottle loosened. His head fell back onto the wall he leant agasint with a thud and he held his breath. In hopes of giving himself some sort of comfort in the dark, he conjured up the memory that never failed to make him smile and right on cue, the trademark smirk he was so popular for made an appearance on his devishly handsome albeit slightly sallow face.
It was of her, because it had always been her.
Since he'd met the woman who was to become the most important person in his life, he'd never thought of anyone else. He remembered the way her lips tasted the first night they kissed at the carnival in the picture booth and the way she'd whispered that she loved him as they sat at the top of the ferris wheel. His heart soared whenever he thought about it, and tonight was no different. Except he knew she'd never say it again because he'd hurt her, and he knew it. What hurt even more was knowing he didn't have enough time to make it right.
Shakily, Damon pulled himself upright and braced himself against the wall to get to his feet. The house was so quiet you could've easily heard a pin drop and he sighed. The aching feeling returned, sinking into his bones. He wanted to cry.

[muireach]

well written , Good Job :)

[broehain61]

Not bad at all!

As if it were the answer to all his problems, Damon took his glass and poured himself yet another Bourbon.
His head fell back onto the wall he leant AGAINST with a thud...
In hopes of giving himself some sort of comfort in the dark, he conjured up the memory that never failed to make him smile and, right on cue, the trademark smirk he was so popular for made an appearance on his devishly handsome, albeit slightly sallow, face.
He remembered the way her lips had tasted the first night they kissed at the carnival in the picture booth, and the way she'd whispered that she loved him as they sat at the top of the Ferris wheel.
Except he knew she'd never say it again because he'd hurt her, and he knew it (repetition).
Shakily, Damon braced himself against the wall and pulled himself upright.