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[francisco]

I'll try and keep this as short as I can but there is quite a lot of info you need to know to be able to give me an informed answer.
Im the youngest sibling in my family. I have an older sister who is married with a baby on the way and an older brother who is working. There is seven years between my sister and I and 4 between me and my brother. Im in my early 20s We all get on quite well and I am very close with my parents, especially my mother. The problem isn't with my parents, its more my siblings and brother in law.
Im currently at university studying for an art degree and I have moved away from home and have recently got a part time job. I have a lot of experience and qualifications in this field as I have always known and wanted to have a career in art. I spent a lot of years studying and learning and have achieved a lot. It seems that I get picked on quite a lot by my siblings, especially my brother in law. Because I don't have a "proper job" or doing a "proper degree" he and my sister seem to think that I do nothing and that I'm just wasting my life away and wasting my parents money. Which is totally the opposite of what I'm doing. I work really hard. My parents do help me out by paying my rent, but thats all the money I get and this is an agreement my parents and I have made with each other. They spent more money on my sister and brother when they were going through university. My parents paid for all their tuition and gave them spending money, plus my dad paid for my sisters really expensive wedding 3 years ago. My brother in law can be really spiteful to me sometimes but my sister never sticks up for me and no one will say anything to him apart from my mother. But it's like neither of our voices are ever heard. My sister complains that I never go over to see her, but she will never call me or come to see me. She lives 2 hours on the train away from me and as a student, I haven't always got the money or the time to pay to go and visit them. I do make the effort, but it's not like they make the effort back. Seems they still think I must have so much time on my hands!
Normally I can brush this aside and forget about it, but recently its really started getting to me. My sister found out she is pregnant, this will be the first grandchild etc etc. We are all really excited. I am especially excited that I'm going to be an aunt. I have waited for this day for years. It seems though that my excitement has gone unnoticed. My sister sits there going on and on about how my brother seems so excited about the baby. And how he will love it so much when it comes bla bla. And mentioned the other week that he is going to be her birthing partner (which my mom was pretty disappointed about and I was too as I hoped she would ask me but I'm ok with it, I'm more upset for my mom). She did however ask if my mom and I would throw her a baby shower, which we of course assumed we would do anyway as i already told her we were going to. My brother in law made a snide comment about me doing it, that I won't be organised and my sister will end up doing it (which would not be the case at all, and he said some other pretty cutting stuff which i won't put on here). My sister called up 2 days later saying that her friend asked if she could do it and my sister said yes to her. So now, her friend is throwing the shower. My mom was ok about it, but i was pretty cut up as I really wanted to do something for my sister and my future niece or nephew. And to top it all off, my sister went for her scan recently and my mom called up asking me if I got the photo she sent to everyone, and I didn't receive one. It really hurt me that my sister didn't send me a photo of the baby. Ok I know what people would say, maybe she forgot, or it got lost, or I should wait, but to be honest, how can you forget your sister? I just feel really left out of everything. It's never really bothered me this much but it really has this past month. Any advice on things I might be able to do to help me get over it?

[norwyn]

Okay wow, thats actually horrible and i can completely see where you are coming from! oh my, first of all you should try and tell your friends AND your mum all this, they are the ones that will undertsnad and make you feel better.

Second of all talk to your sister (not about her husband) about how she is beign with you. Tell her how you are feeling, mention how you do not like her sayign you are wastign your life, tell her you was very excvited and she didnt notice, you need to talk this out with her please do that you will feel much better and she will be more aware of how she has been acting towards you.

HOW about tell your brother maybe he can mention it to her?

AND for you brother in law, wow what a c***, argh i dont know what i would do with him. Hmmm, you could just be strong and confident and whenever he says his remarks make remarks BACK at him. Or DONT be affected with what he says he is annoying little prat, that may be his character and personality ignore him. Or say stuff like "i am more organised than you will ever be" or "thats not a nice thing to say, you should really see what you say to other people and how it affects them before you open your mouth" and DO not worry what your sister will think of your comments, i mean come on does nobody care about you and your feelings?

thats picture thign bizaare tbh i cant beleive she did that :/ you need to tell her that, maybe even cry to her she will feel so bad and regret it :)

AND lastly you should really tell her how tyou have money issues and therefore are unable to meet her, she should be understanding.

it seems to me, you dont try and explain things to people? you need to drill it into everyones head be more confident to tell them who you are, and how passionate you are about your degree and if they dont like it keep the snaly comments to themselves as the sayign goes "got nothing nice to say, dont say it at all"


hondeslty i cant give you any advice but please talk to your mum or brother, they seem to be the most understanding towards you

hope this helps

andd goodluck!

[donough]

hey ... dont fret about it. they are wrapped up in their own little world. probably some jealously there as you have freedom still and the opportunity to do what you want. you have your life ahead, which means having your own career and family, then you'll be wrapped up in your little world with your husband and friends nearby. your sister probably sees her friend more than you. lifes too short ! so dont feel left out....

[warton26]

maybe you should tell them what you just told us

[ned]

maybe you should tell them what you just told us

I agree with Chinky. Sounds like your siblings are not happy with the fact that you are enjoying some freedoms that they don't have due to family obligations and careers. Hold your head up and stay the course in your own educational pursuits.

Take the high road and ignore your Bil's sniping. He sounds like a real treat to begin with but this is your sister's problem to deal with, not yours. You sound like a very generous person. By the way, your sister was out of line requesting a baby shower. If you choose to do one for her, then, if they have any class, whatever you end up doing for them, their correct response would be to thank you profusely.