Have You Ever Been So Angry With Someone That You Wanted To Use Your Legal Rights Against Them? [see Discussion Board]

[Farewell]

[see discussion board]

[Arturo]

Yes.   danielpauldavis 20 months ago

[Cale]

Sounds like to me you need to stop thinking about suing anyone and cut ties with everyone that is negative in your life. If you have a contract with the manager, see what it says about firing him. If nothing, fire him. As far as the mom, do you have a contract with her either written or verbal? What does it say about repayment to her. Is it an investment or a loan because repayment is different. Unless a written contract is in place for an investment, then you do not have to give her anything. If it is a loan, then you do. Regardless, make up a new contract that states that the mom will no longer have anything to do with the company(if it is a loan, make it official the day your last payment to her is made). As far as the brother and the girlfriend, you are out of luck. If the brother and the girlfriend want to be adults and apologise, then at that point you can continue interacting with them, but not until then. Otherwise you will be opening the door for it to continue. As far as the personal side of things with the mom, let her know that you appreciate her helping you out with the business, but the thing with the brother and girlfriend are personal between you and that you respect her enough to not put her in the middle of it. Also mention that you would hope that she would let the brother know that when they are ready to solve the problem, you will be ready as long as everyone acts like adults. As far as getting your money back, you took a risk.. it did not pan out. I do not see where it is anyone's fault, but your own. Fire the manager, learn from your mistake and do not do it again.That being said, this is only my opinion. You may have to talk to a lawyer to make sure that YOU do not owe money to your mom or the manager to protect YOURSELF legally.That also being said, I am sorry to hear about your difficulties and I hope you get it all sorted! By the way, get your boyfriend into therapy. He should not be throwing anything and it is a sign that he may have anger management issues. Regardless, a little therapy could help you both get through it and help guide you while you deal with everything.

[Odakota]

To answer your question: yes, I've had to use(or try to use) the law to get redress on more than one occasion, and it's a messy and long-drawn-out process that's taxing on the nerves even if you're convinced you have a cast-iron case ... in other words, don't go there unless you're absolutely certain that(i) your sanity, and(ii) your vital relationships, will emerge unscathed. Also count your bank balance, because usually the only people who are guaranteed to win are the lawyers; and make sure that the rest of your life is in balance, because otherwise the ruddy thing will consume you. My sincere advice - and I write as someone who loathes injustice - is that you're in such a multi-faceted mess that it's almost impossible to tease out those aspects of this situation where the law would help you. You've got problems with several important relationships, at least one of which(with MIL) is grossly complicated by the fact that her money is involved; you've also got problems with your business and the way it's been/being managed; and yur relationship with your boyfriend is under strain - or will come under strain when he gets faced with more conflicts of loyalties.The first thing you've got to do is sort out this tangle. The one place where the law *may* be able to help you is with the business, but that depends on the contract you have with the manager; you describe her as a 'bad business woman' but frankly as owners of the business where were you in all this? Shouldn't you have been managing it in a much more hands-on fashion? Even if your manager had been robbing you blind, she might well say in her own defence that you turned a blind eye ... I'm tempted to advise you to go watch a few episodes of Gordon Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares and look at how he approaches the problems of a failing business(many of them with family connections).Last word: might I respectfully suggest that you could be taking far too short-term and narrow a view of all this? Not only are you running the risk of turning a family spat into a permanent family split; on the business side, if you've started a business and for whatever reason it's run into the buffers within less than a year, what's going to happen when you want the backing to start up another one? Go to law and lose and you'll be permanently tainted; let things run into bankruptcy or forced closure and kiss goodbye to your credit ratings. A long, deep breath is called for.I wish you well.

[Adusa]

trinitysaij said: 2 Sounds like to me you need to stop thinking about suing anyone and cut ties with everyone that is negative in your life. If you have a contract with the manager, see what it says about firing him. If nothing, fire him. As far as the mom, do you have a contract with her either written or verbal? What does it say about repayment to her. Is it an investment or a loan because repayment is different. Unless a written contract is in place for an investment, then you do not have to give her anything. If it is a loan, then you do. Regardless, make up a new contract that states that the mom will no longer have anything to do with the company(if it is a loan, make it official the day your last payment to her is made). As far as the brother and the girlfriend, you are out of luck. If the brother and the girlfriend want to be adults and apologise, then at that point you can continue interacting with them, but not until then. Otherwise you will be opening the door for it to continue. As far as the personal side of things with the mom, let her know that you appreciate her helping you out with the business, but the thing with the brother and girlfriend are personal between you and that you respect her enough to not put her in the middle of it. Also mention that you would hope that she would let the brother know that when they are ready to solve the problem, you will be ready as long as everyone acts like adults. As far as getting your money back, you took a risk.. it did not pan out. I do not see where it is anyone's fault, but your own. Fire the manager, learn from your mistake and do not do it again.That being said, this is only my opinion. You may have to talk to a lawyer to make sure that YOU do not owe money to your mom or the manager to protect YOURSELF legally.That also being said, I am sorry to hear about your difficulties and I hope you get it all sorted! By the way, get your boyfriend into therapy. He should not be throwing anything and it is a sign that he may have anger management issues. Regardless, a little therapy could help you both get through it and help guide you while you deal with everything. 49 months ago

[Bernal]

So here's a long one but I absolutely need your help. If you don't want to read the detailed story, skip to the bottom to where my real question lies.My boyfriend and I have settled in his parents' basement in the North East US after selling his property in order to pay for our new business. While waiting for this business to get started, his mom has pitched in to fund the start of it. The progress of establishing the business has come to a halt due to lack of priorities of the manager. We were considering a lawsuit but currently have decided against it. Due to preventing burning bridges for future business. 8 months later and after considering new lots, we STILL don't have our business set up.On the side, my boyfriend's mother wanted us to visit his younger brother in Canada. So we did. Long story short, on the 3rd night after arriving to Canadawe were provoked by, threatened by, and humiliated by his brother, all because I wanted to know where they were so I could cook dinner for himand his girlfriend at a reasonable hour. And all the while there his girlfriend was, rolling her eyes, pursing her lips, and let her boyfriend say whatever he wanted without defending us OR calming him down.My boyfriend's mom reacted with no logic whatsoever, favoring my boyfriend's brother's side of the story like she has his whole life. None of what he says is true, as expected.My boyfriend's brother's anger was "fed" with a letter my boyfriend and I left on his pillow before leaving like maids, basically saying in an unoffensive way that we are not robots and refuse to be treated like such, especially if we are guests in my boyfriend's own brother's home. Everytime my boyfriend's mom gets off the phone with his brother, she treats us like absolute crap. Like dogs. What is interesting is that why she would completely change moods after getting off the phone with him? We have a copy of the letter that was left on the pillow that started this whole mess. Not only that, but we also have the voice recordings of the absurd remarks of myboyfriend's brother whenever we tried to bury the hatchet over the phone. Both of these display my boyfriend's brother's lack of controlling his aggression.Not only that, but from what I heard from my boyfriend, his brother liked everything about me until his mysterious bipolar mood change on the 3rd night. He raved about me.Everything was totally fine with his opinions about me. Then suddenly on the 3rd night, he goes from hot to cold! That is what gets me to predict that it was his girlfriend who was talking poison into his ear, about what I said to her that she didn't agree with, and that she was probablymocking me or making up things as she talked. I know she didn't like me from the get-go since she would ridicule me behind my back to her boyfriend(i.e. me making breakfast), and then he would talk to my boyfriend about what she did when they were alone. But this part about her just sends me over the edge... All I am saying is that it is all too suspicious.So in conclusion, let me break it down for you: we have a bad business woman who cannot do her job right and in turn is making us spend more $ than we should; we have my boyfriend's mom, who is helping fund the business but lacks the decency/logic to get personal instead of keeping things business; we have my boyfriend's brother, who cannot act civil toward guests from another country in his own home, let alone to his own brother, and THINKS he can get away with punching walls, call us every name inthe book, and throw us out on the street to fend for ourselves to get home without getting any consequences; we have his girlfriend, who looks completely innocent at first, but, without concrete evidence, has been the source of getting her boyfriend so angry to outburst, which started this whole mess in the first place(see 2nd paragraph).My evidence is a replica of the letter that got us into trouble, as well as the voice recordings that got every ounce of the illogical hate in my boyfriend's brother's voice.A way for my boyfriend and I to get out of this mess is to point fingers at someone in this mess, and it sure isn't ourselves. Who are we able to sue: The manager of the business lot; the mom; or my boyfriend's brother and his girlfriend?I need to know how this law process goes, so that my boyfriend and I can get our money back and walk away without ever looking back.Can you help me with this law process?

[Kian]

EnglishLady said: 3 To answer your question: yes, I've had to use(or try to use) the law to get redress on more than one occasion, and it's a messy and long-drawn-out process that's taxing on the nerves even if you're convinced you have a cast-iron case ... in other words, don't go there unless you're absolutely certain that(i) your sanity, and(ii) your vital relationships, will emerge unscathed. Also count your bank balance, because usually the only people who are guaranteed to win are the lawyers; and make sure that the rest of your life is in balance, because otherwise the ruddy thing will consume you. My sincere advice - and I write as someone who loathes injustice - is that you're in such a multi-faceted mess that it's almost impossible to tease out those aspects of this situation where the law would help you. You've got problems with several important relationships, at least one of which(with MIL) is grossly complicated by the fact that her money is involved; you've also got problems with your business and the way it's been/being managed; and yur relationship with your boyfriend is under strain - or will come under strain when he gets faced with more conflicts of loyalties.The first thing you've got to do is sort out this tangle. The one place where the law *may* be able to help you is with the business, but that depends on the contract you have with the manager; you describe her as a 'bad business woman' but frankly as owners of the business where were you in all this? Shouldn't you have been managing it in a much more hands-on fashion? Even if your manager had been robbing you blind, she might well say in her own defence that you turned a blind eye ... I'm tempted to advise you to go watch a few episodes of Gordon Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares and look at how he approaches the problems of a failing business(many of them with family connections).Last word: might I respectfully suggest that you could be taking far too short-term and narrow a view of all this? Not only are you running the risk of turning a family spat into a permanent family split; on the business side, if you've started a business and for whatever reason it's run into the buffers within less than a year, what's going to happen when you want the backing to start up another one? Go to law and lose and you'll be permanently tainted; let things run into bankruptcy or forced closure and kiss goodbye to your credit ratings. A long, deep breath is called for.I wish you well. 49 months ago