How Do I Escape This Modern Day Slavery?

[wal49]

I can't lie, I'm on probation and people think of me only as a criminal. Sometimes people overlook the fact that I'm a person, and look at me only as a criminal and not as a changed man, who's just trying to find his way in this life. I was arrested for assaulting a family member. I have sine repented and turned over a new leaf, it was actually the first and only time i've ever really been in trouble with the law. Most recently I've been working on fundraisers to help raise money to get my biological mother out of jail, since I'm adopted.
I turned eighteen shortly after I was released from juvenile hall. I had been in juvenile hall for a month and five days, and it was the most brutal experience I can recall to date. Some of the prejudices I have experienced include being shunned at retirement homes, being excluded from social gatherings in the neighborhood, and on and on the list goes. I sometimes experience suspicion from my own probation officer, which irritates me to no end. She's generally impressed with me though. I was sentenced to one year of probation last August.
It may also be important to keep in mind that I'm bipolar, and that without my medications, I either become violently angry, or become extremely depressed. However we (My family and I) didn't realize this until after the incident. I don't just regret my actions, I feel extremely depressed because I'm on probation, and it feels like slavery to me. As if the State of Colorado OWNS me. I have become suicidal on a number of occasions because I hate probation so much. I'm also fearful that I may not be successful in my venture to raise money for my mother's release from prison.

[fyfe]

Well, first off, don't bother with the biological mother thing. She wasn't able to raise you or care for you, which is the hard part. She didn't forfill her end of the bargain, so don't burden yourself with this part. You even here admit that your "adopted family" is in fact the group that you consider your FAMILY. They are the ones you should worry about.

In some ways, juvenile hall could be worse than adult prison, since the population is a lot dumber. As you committed a violent crime, you are put on a higher priority list as far as suspicion. If your probation officer didn't occasionally suspect you of behavior, you'd be much worse off.

You only have ONE YEAR of probation. That's not too much at all. I know people who are on 5+ years of it. If you're truly a guy who changed for the better in the eyes of the law, just keep on the straight path and you'll be able to lead a normal life.

As far as being excluded- the hell with them. You should focus on yourself, many people utilize probation as a tool for self-improvement. You are not, and you are using it as a crutch. For f*cks sake, dude, I know tons of people who get LAID just for being on probation. That's about the only useful thing you can use it for, socially.

Stay on your meds, dude. They work by regulating your body chemicals.


Long story short, you come across as if you're looking for validation. I too am shunned by my entire block for my demeanor and looks (I'm a stocky dude with a chiseled jawline, very deep voice and a "don't **** with me" vibe, but I'm actually a decent guy), but I learned to get over that by not giving a **** and working on myself. The feeling of isolation had previously led to me getting in a lot of trouble, but I learned to just say f**k you to those scumbags and just do me. I'm looking to get into law enforcement.

For the record, I'd also consider you high risk. Suicidal people can prove to be dangerous to society. Knock the pity party off and man up. Don't be a b*tch, be a man.

[macquaid35]

Well, first off, don't bother with the biological mother thing. She wasn't able to raise you or care for you, which is the hard part. She didn't forfill her end of the bargain, so don't burden yourself with this part. You even here admit that your "adopted family" is in fact the group that you consider your FAMILY. They are the ones you should worry about.

In some ways, juvenile hall could be worse than adult prison, since the population is a lot dumber. As you committed a violent crime, you are put on a higher priority list as far as suspicion. If your probation officer didn't occasionally suspect you of behavior, you'd be much worse off.

You only have ONE YEAR of probation. That's not too much at all. I know people who are on 5+ years of it. If you're truly a guy who changed for the better in the eyes of the law, just keep on the straight path and you'll be able to lead a normal life.

As far as being excluded- the hell with them. You should focus on yourself, many people utilize probation as a tool for self-improvement. You are not, and you are using it as a crutch. For f*cks sake, dude, I know tons of people who get LAID just for being on probation. That's about the only useful thing you can use it for, socially.

Stay on your meds, dude. They work by regulating your body chemicals.


Long story short, you come across as if you're looking for validation. I too am shunned by my entire block for my demeanor and looks (I'm a stocky dude with a chiseled jawline, very deep voice and a "don't **** with me" vibe, but I'm actually a decent guy), but I learned to get over that by not giving a **** and working on myself. The feeling of isolation had previously led to me getting in a lot of trouble, but I learned to just say f**k you to those scumbags and just do me. I'm looking to get into law enforcement.

For the record, I'd also consider you high risk. Suicidal people can prove to be dangerous to society. Knock the pity party off and man up. Don't be a b*tch, be a man.

listen, you're on probation for a year and then your out. For now, think of this as something you need to do. It's a process that eventually has light at the end of the tunnel. Then you can go back to society and live your life the way you want! You don't have to live in your old neighbourhood. Move away and start off fresh. Now on to the fundraiser, you will succeed if you believe you will. The moment you begin doubting yourself, your in big trouble! I've been in the situation and believe me, you can only succeed in something when you believe you can. Thats what faith is all about. Believing. Its not only about believing in God. In fact, put God aside and think of faith as simply believing in yourself and abilities. From what I see, your on the road to freedom and you cannot halt the law. Do what you need to do for now and then think about how to change your life for the better. A life in which you feel happy and good.