How do I tell my roommate I feel taken advantage of?

[marmion]

About a year ago I found myself out on my *** with nowhere to live without any notice. My friend of several years took me in and let me live her with and her two children. Since the day I moved in I've paid rent and utilities on time in the amount she asked of me.

About six months ago, in order to help her and her kids out, I sold my car in order to get her a better one. The car sold for nearly 10k. We used that money to purchase her new vehicle. The idea was that I would take over her current vehicle and that she would drive the new one. When we did this, she had money coming in roughly equivalent to that amount within a few weeks. She is a realtor, and had a rather large commission coming in. Anyway the amount still owed on her old car she would pay off, transfer the title into my name, pay the registration, and then the amount left of the 10k would just cover my share of rent and bills for a few months. The money came and went, and none of this was done. In fact, she has earned more than one commission in the ballpark of that amount, but nothing has been paid.

Since that happened, however, things have gotten kind of out of control. The car has not been paid off and transferred into my name. The registration is still out, which has cost me money in traffic tickets since I've had no choice but to drive it for work. I for a couple of months ended up covering almost all of our utility bills in addition to my rent.

Now, I was out of work for about two months. During that time, she did have to cover all of the bills. However, I have been back at work and earning a regular paycheck.

The problem here is this: It's been six months. I still don't have a working car (or a car at all for that matter) I am still paying my share of bills, as I have been with the exception of those two months), and now she is still constantly hitting me up for money. She ends up making me feel guilty because she talks about how hard it is to be a single mom and it's not for her it's for the boys. Now she makes significantly more money than I do. Her annual salary is close to four times mine. However, she blows all of her money on things like scratchers, beer, clothing, and other things she generally doesn't need. I'm in no way interested in telling her how to spend her money, this is just an observation.

Now things are to the point where before I even get my paycheck she asks how much I will be earning and what can I put towards helping with things for the boys. I don't mind helping, but I feel like I am clearly being taken advantage of. I already buy things for her kids, I take her father on errands and to the hospital if he has an appointment, and I wasn't supposed to be paying bills during the short period where I was not working.

Am I being taken advantage of? Or am I just being slightly ridiculous here and need to suck it up? How can I confront her about these things without damaging our friendship? It's to the point where I am starting to wonder if I should move out. She has extended such kindness to me I don't want her to think I'm not grateful... it just doesn't seem like the gratitude goes both ways.

[gervaso81]

About a year ago I found myself out on my *** with nowhere to live without any notice. My friend of several years took me in and let me live her with and her two children. Since the day I moved in I've paid rent and utilities on time in the amount she asked of me.

About six months ago, in order to help her and her kids out, I sold my car in order to get her a better one. The car sold for nearly 10k. We used that money to purchase her new vehicle. The idea was that I would take over her current vehicle and that she would drive the new one. When we did this, she had money coming in roughly equivalent to that amount within a few weeks. She is a realtor, and had a rather large commission coming in. Anyway the amount still owed on her old car she would pay off, transfer the title into my name, pay the registration, and then the amount left of the 10k would just cover my share of rent and bills for a few months. The money came and went, and none of this was done. In fact, she has earned more than one commission in the ballpark of that amount, but nothing has been paid.

Since that happened, however, things have gotten kind of out of control. The car has not been paid off and transferred into my name. The registration is still out, which has cost me money in traffic tickets since I've had no choice but to drive it for work. I for a couple of months ended up covering almost all of our utility bills in addition to my rent.

Now, I was out of work for about two months. During that time, she did have to cover all of the bills. However, I have been back at work and earning a regular paycheck.

The problem here is this: It's been six months. I still don't have a working car (or a car at all for that matter) I am still paying my share of bills, as I have been with the exception of those two months), and now she is still constantly hitting me up for money. She ends up making me feel guilty because she talks about how hard it is to be a single mom and it's not for her it's for the boys. Now she makes significantly more money than I do. Her annual salary is close to four times mine. However, she blows all of her money on things like scratchers, beer, clothing, and other things she generally doesn't need. I'm in no way interested in telling her how to spend her money, this is just an observation.

Now things are to the point where before I even get my paycheck she asks how much I will be earning and what can I put towards helping with things for the boys. I don't mind helping, but I feel like I am clearly being taken advantage of. I already buy things for her kids, I take her father on errands and to the hospital if he has an appointment, and I wasn't supposed to be paying bills during the short period where I was not working.

Am I being taken advantage of? Or am I just being slightly ridiculous here and need to suck it up? How can I confront her about these things without damaging our friendship? It's to the point where I am starting to wonder if I should move out. She has extended such kindness to me I don't want her to think I'm not grateful... it just doesn't seem like the gratitude goes both ways.

Simply tell your roomate you feel like shes taking advantage of you.

[culley96]

Your being cOnpletely used
Move out and dOnt worry about your friendship because she doesnt seem like that good of a friend at all.

[calvert]

uff that,s so easy girl first of all she,s not your friend second she,s takind advanted of your kindness 3 she does give a d,,m bout you,,whe she let u in was becouse she allready thought in the benefits she would get,,but never is too late to realize that a real friend never bothers onother with he,s or her own problems just get out the sooner the better..end never mix friendship with business ;life is hard now adays if do not aford an apartment rend a room alone don,t ever ever barow money anless you realy in a bad situation,, money is the worsth enemi on friendship

[newyddilyn60]

She definitely is taking advantage of your kindness and thinks she has every right to do so after helping you out when you needed it the most. However you need to talk to her about how you feel about the situation, tell her that you're very grateful for her help but you are feeling used, if she is a true friend she will understand and help you out. If she doesn't then you may as well start looking for a new place to stay as she is not a good friend to you.

She may have helped you but you sold your car and bought her a new one, while you are driving her old car illegally. You should try and take back the new car as it was bought with your money after all, also she never kept her word so why should you? So take what is rightfully yours and find a new home, you are not her children's guardian and shouldn't be made to pay for their upbringing. I hope you can stick up for yourself and leave, good luck.