Law-Forums.org

[osryd]

How have you dealt with your family/in-laws being pushy and overbearing since you've had a child? Are you the 'stand your ground/rude/blunt' type or the 'pushover/quiet/polite' type? Have you ever got into a fight (physical/verbal) with a family member who felt that their way was the best way even though you didn't agree?

Just curious...My in-laws are about 2 cm from the edge of insanity and my family couldn't understand the word 'No' if it crawled up their a$$ and laid eggs.

[augustus]

Standing your ground, does Not, equal rude.

You can express your feelings clear and concise, without being a total *****.

[coinleain]

i let it slide until the day i told my MIL that she had better change her ways or she will lose all access to my children... she got the message and now our relationship is tolerable

[avikar76]

i have the same problem, my inlaws live across the street and treat my oldest like there own and pretty much disclude my 2 youngest children, i let them control what my son does and how i raise him just until last year when he realized grammy gives him his way if he puckers and crys, than tryed it at home. i reached my last straw when they asked if they could have him for the weekend which they always have him on weekends cause i couldnt say no, and they took him 40 miles away to disneyland and nerver mentioned they were leaving until they had left, didnt even bring back my 2 year old a gift or anything and my 6 year old had 200 dollars in gifts. i finally told them no more every weekend and hes not allowed over unless they take his brother. i was a bit.. for while and they still arent over it but im the mother and if they want to see him they better listen

[trucker]

My brothers are protective of me. My oldest is my guardian and he's very protective of me and wants what's best for me. I also have MS, so it freaks him out and he's scared 24/7 I could get hurt. Despite this, we're close. My other older brother is more protective when it comes to guys. He hates that I'm dating. We're also close.

We do have an aunt who does butt in a lot. She criticizes my brothers' methods of raising me and believes they should have even more restrictions on me. My brothers respond to that as she's not raising me, they are. Several times they have kicked her out for being very rude. She's barely in our lives now.

[karlitis]

yes, my mother and my aunt, ive severed all ties with them and we have been completely estranged for over 6 years now.

[aviya]

yes, my mother and my aunt, ive severed all ties with them and we have been completely estranged for over 6 years now.

Oh yes, my former MIL. My late husband and I married at eighteen and became pregnant shortly after. We had our second child within two years after. She was very judgmental and constantly talked down to me and made me feel like the fact that I was barely twenty one with two babies that I knew nothing about motherhood. We ended up having an okay relationship until my husband's death. She felt like I was pushing them to move on too fast, when I wasn't. I was there to comfort them through it all but the younger two got over it faster than the older two. She was very upset when I moved on about three years after. Now her and the rest of that family will not talk to my kids from my first marriage which I find very sad.

[matchitisiw]

I'm usually the quite type, just because I don't like confrontation. I will stand my ground, but I do so politely. It's only after I've specifically asked someone not to do something more than once and they continue to do it that I will get rude about it. I haven't ever had to get truly nasty but the closest call I had was with my FIL. He was trying to feed something to my daughter that would have made her sick and after asking him nicely to stop the first time and then telling him politely the second time I just took my daughter away from him. I am not one to immediately go for confrontation, but if I am nice about it and it doesn't change, I will be the nastiest b*tch on the face of the planet.

[seager]

I had the same problem with my in-laws and it was really annoying, and very un-called for. There is no need to be rude to someone or be pushy - we're adults and in control of your life. My husband and I met at work, and when I met his parents, they looked at me and judged me straight off the bad. My husband is a consultant surgeon (at the time we met, he was a junior doctor) and I'm a nurse (always have been) and they didn't like that either. They thought that being a nurse was a good job, but they didn't think I was good enough for their son. If they had their way he would have married a proper English rose, a doctor too from a very good family. When we got married, they didn't like that I had chose my childhood best friend to be my maid of honour, they wanted my sister-in law to be the maid of honour, even though she was quite happy not being in charge. They didn't like the church I wanted to get married in and where our honeymoon is. When my husband and I had our children, it got a lot more worse - they didn't like the way I was raising our children, the rules I had put in place, they wanted to see our children on their terms and whenever they wanted. It was really awful that when the wedding was taking place, I wanted to leave the church and not get married. I saw my future in-front of my eyes like it had happened already. I didn't tell my husband how I felt though and that was a mistake. However, when we had our children, I did tell him, I was sick of his nagging family and he had a word with them. They were still pushy, but they did pipe down. I never changed for them, and I am happy of my roots and where I come from, and what I do and how I have raised my children, because they have done very well. If they don't like it, then that's their problem. Tell them how you feel.