How to deal with passive aggressive neighbour?

by **rheged** » Fri Oct 28, 2011 11:10 am

My boyfriend and I live in his father's place; a mother in law suite plus a small house about 20 feet away from where we live. So in other words, it's rental property. His father doesn't live with us, however, we look after the house, and his dog, while we're working on constructing the basement so someone else can move in. The problem is the tenant who lives in the house behind us. She has her own driveway and has lived in that house for the last four years. Since construction has been going on in the basement, neither of us has had time to fix up the garden (although the grass is mowed) and the backyard is small and shared. We are looking after his father's dog... which happens to be a yippy dog. However, it's the landlords dog. The problem is, my boyfriends father (the landlord) has moved away and is living 8 hours away. The tenant in the separate house was aware of the hours my boyfriend worked. Over the winter, the tenant had complained in notes that her driveway had not been shoveled and would call a snowplow company and take it upon herself to reduce her rent because the landlord said to (he was exasperated he said, and until he found her rental papers for agreements, he told her just to do that). However, in a previous rental agreement... we technically don't have to shovel her driveway. In addition to that, we recieved a particularly nasty letter complaining about the dog, the dog poop (although she was cussing in it) and told us to tie the dog up in the front yard. I was quite offended, not because her comments weren't warranted, but because she could have came and spoke with us at the house and we would have gladly listened to her concerns. I haven't seen her car in the driveway for a couple of days, so I did write a note questioning why she never came to speak to us given she knew both our hours (my school hours and my boyfriends work hours) but would rather take it upon herself to write a nasty note left with her rental check. I suggested since she is habitually writing notes that she save her hand the strain and contact her landlord and have him relay the messages to us since she cannot speak to either of us as adults without using a provoking language. I know that it's almost just as bad, since I wrote a note, but I wasn't sure what else to do. Any suggestions? I'm worried about receiving some other nasty note and feeling like I have to go over there and confront her.

by **gerard** » Fri Oct 28, 2011 11:23 am

You should stop responding in an emotional way. If she has shorted the landlord on the rent, he should start eviction proceedings right away. This is not a power battle between her and you. This is a business relationship and should solely be governed by the lease contract and the law in your state.

Don't confront her, put an eviction notice on her door.

by **lamarr3** » Fri Oct 28, 2011 11:27 am

your boyfriend's Dad needs to collect his dog, straighten that mad cow out, even if it means eviction, and getting someone more respectable in there. period.

by **bachir93** » Fri Oct 28, 2011 11:50 am

You and your boyfriend are not her landlords. She needs to take it up with the person in charge. Period.

by **vruyk** » Fri Oct 28, 2011 11:52 am

1) Stop assuming she knows (and remembers) your schedules.

2) Stop being slobs and pick up your dog poop (if you're the doggie caretaker, he's yours). Also, nobody likes yippy dogs, keep him quiet, inside or where he won't disturb others.

3) Stop encroaching on her space without permission. You could have asked if it was ok to park on her driveway (that she's paying for) or parked 2 blocks away if you had to. Your comfort doesn't take precedence over her rights (she pays for that driveway).

4) Shovel in an appropriate timeframe. It must be your job or you wouldn't shovel at all.

YOU sound like the bad neighbor. You are inconsiderate and your sense of entitlement is unbelievable.

by **laureano97** » Fri Oct 28, 2011 11:53 am

Enough with the snotty note exchanges already! If you don't find a way to interact courteously with her, she'll continue to make life miserable for you, and she'll probably run up expensive bills for the chores she thinks you're obligated to take care of. This summer there'll be lawn mowing, planting and weeding, dog cleanup, and who knows what else.

Perhaps you could come to an agreement with her in terms of how many hours a week you can do yard maintenance.

Advertisments:

Sponsor Links: