How to kick brother in law out. ?

[pannoowau]

So I've been married for about 3 months I'm a newlywed and I'm sick of supporting my new brother in law.

I moved in a year and a half ago and have been helping to support him since. He had a job last year and paid rent for a little while but when he fell in love with this woman online ( who subsequently does not have feelings for him) he decided her bills were more important than his and ours. My husband put his brothers name on the house loan when he bought the house to help his credit. Last year my brother in law bought that woman a $25,000 car. She didn't have a job to pay for the car and he couldn't pay for it, so when we learned they could put a lean on our home if she ran with the car, we had his name removed from the loan. He also made it perfectly clear that we meant nothing to him and he wouldn't lose this girl.... Who didn't want anything to do with him.

He started making rent payments so we didn't kick him out of the house... He has lost his job in january and has since been sitting at home watching t.v and eating our food.

In addition to this, he doesn't clean up after himself. When he drinks (we have one rule in the house for him: no alcohol, which he breaks occasionally) he gets angry and acts violent. He doesn't help with anything and on top of that our other roommate who is a dear friend and great roomie, is looking for a new place to live because my brother in law is mean to him.

This isn't a 21 year old kid, this is a 40 year old man who is capable of holding a job.

We have given him until the end of this month to find a job or he has to move out, we've offered him a plane ticket to his home in Michigan (we live in Cali) and he refuses, he says he would rather be homeless.

I know my husband won't let him be Homeless and I'd rather not see him homeless. (he is my brother in law after all) but I'm at my wits end.

I hate seeing how he stresses my husband out and I hate that he is taking advantage of us. I told my husband If he wasn't out by January 2013 i will be spending some time at my parents. We just got married and i love my husband to death, but I can't take it anymore.
I want to move on with our lives and start a family.

I just don't know what to do anymore. Help!

[webb]

This is one side of the story, have you tried to understand your brother-in-laws side of the story directly from him ? does he feel your husband is obliged to look after him for whatever reasons? may be he needs help can you or your husband help him find a job ? is he motivated to work ? may be he is depressed, has he undergone any stressful event in recent times? no person with self-respect will behave in a manner you are experiencing here are a few steps you can take.
1.Open a channel of communication without prejudice be clear in your thoughts and dont be biased, ask your husband to do this so that it does not add further complication.
2.I think you are frustrated and hence you have posted this question, instead of thinking how to kick him out think in a more positive way by asking yourself, how can you make him independent and self-sufficient and genuinely help him to achieve this goal, this will be a more permanent solution.
3.Getting angry and frustrated is easy and anyone can do it but helping someone to be independent needs a strategy for e.g find a job interstate for him so that he will move out with a more positive note.
4.I believe you and your husband are doing lot of the talking and not including your BIL, stop talking negative if you are doing it, because negativity breeds negativity and it is a downward spiral noway out.
5.Positively communicating with a definite plan for your BIL to be independent is the only win-win for both parties.
6.Remember POSITIVE,POSITIVE, POSITIVE all the time with everyone is the only way not to get stressed and frustraed, it can be done with practise.
7.Dont move out that is cowardice face it and solve it I wish you all the best I am sure you can work it out becasue you are a person with fairness!life is too short to worry about thses simple things once you have solved it!