What is the best way to kick out a family member?

by **zacchaeus21** » Sun Nov 20, 2011 1:02 am

Ok so me and my husband have been dealing with a situation, my husbands brother and his wife and daughter have been livin with us for some time now. We took them in cause they have no where to go, but lately they have been behavin very badly. First they dnt respect our stuff they use our hygenic stuff like shampoo and WORST our toothbrush ewww is all i can say. We feel sorry for them but lately my bro in law got the habit of missing his job wich i dnt get. Ok so we had agreed for them to pay us rent while they stayed and its been months and they only gave us one month, and they dnt pay bills. We dont know what to do cause they use up all our stuff like shampoo,soap,toilet paper and theybdnt bother buyin more. OH AND WORST THEY MAKE A MESS IN MY KITCHEN AND LIVING ROOM AND DNT CLEAN. Plus i once checked their room and it was horrible, please help me with advice. I cant take it anymore....

by **oded** » Sun Nov 20, 2011 1:04 am

I hope this situation doesn't affect your thinking with respect to helping those in need somewhere down the road. While I'm positive your feelings were honorable in the beginning, you now have the distasteful task of making your own life comfortable on the backs of those you attempted to help, and just so there's no confusion; this entire situation is your fault. Accept this one fact and move forward.

You really need to sit down with the dastardly duo and lay it on the line. You can do this with dignity and calm if you are honest and forthright. Lay out a planned conversation letting all know how you felt at first and how you feel now, I wouldn't pull any punches but would do this as diplomatically as possible. Once your cards are on the table 100% they will no doubt believe they are about to get the boot, and that's okay as a little humility never killed anyone. Once the hard part is over, you need to precisely tell them what is going to happen from this point on. Let them know there is now a time limit for them to move out. You can make it 3, 6, 9, months or a year but they need to know their stay has a time limit. Then you need to explain how you like to live and they must follow your rules or leave. Have a sheet ready (in schedule form if you like) making them aware of your rules of the house including; house cleaning, chores, dishes, food, laundry, hours, just about anything you can think of to make your life comfortable while they are there. Don't forget to note that job hunting should not only be done online but also by foot, in other words; get up, get dressed, and get going with resume in hand do personal visits to prospective employers.

Let these ground rules stand as the upper most reason they will be allowed to stay, breaking them means eviction unless they have an excellent excuse. Let this all be a lesson to you and your husband for all future dealing with friends and or family. No one lives exactly the same and while our intentions may be good the fact remains we work for what we have and all have a need to protect it and use it the way we see fit for our own reasons, no one else, you don't have to make excuses for how you feel in your own house. Now go do the right thing and good luck:)

by **culley96** » Sun Nov 20, 2011 1:12 am

They may or may not have been able to avoid their financial circumstance. They may not be able to pay for shampoo and such. They CAN do to work when scheduled. And they CAN respect you and your home enough to pick up after themselves. Your husband needs to sit down with his brother and tell him that it's time for them to go. Period. Give them until the first of the year...nearly 60 days and after Christmas...but that's it. And no excuses.

by **slaine** » Sun Nov 20, 2011 1:18 am

it's ur house so u and ur husband have every right to kick them out (even by law) give them a notice for when they have to leave. dont give them another chance only because they were in trouble and thankfully u were there but they took advantage. they need to learn a lesson. tell them straight up, no if and s or buts!!!!!

by **dureau** » Sun Nov 20, 2011 1:23 am

simply tell them they have to leave.
give them some notice though, to be nice, but kick them out for sure.
they will continue to use you and your husband so they need to go.

by **francisco** » Sun Nov 20, 2011 1:35 am

simply tell them they have to leave.
give them some notice though, to be nice, but kick them out for sure.
they will continue to use you and your husband so they need to go.

Head first

by **chepito** » Sun Nov 20, 2011 1:45 am

just send them to a shelter

by **vruyk** » Sun Nov 20, 2011 1:51 am

just send them to a shelter

And I thought this only happened in movies!

You should give them ONE chance first. Sit them down and give them a very stern warning. Tell them that if they don't get their act together, then they will have to find somewhere else to live. You are already nice enough to let them eat, sleep, and do everything else they do in YOUR house, and they can't even respect that enough to clean up after themselves, buy their own toiletries, or even use their own toothbrush?? Unacceptable!! One more chance would be really kind, but I wouldn't stop you from kicking them out right now.
If you want to kick them out right now, sit them down and tell them what is going on. Tell them what you just told us, and then say you can't stand it anymore, you've had enough, and they are out of there. Remember, it's YOUR house, not theirs, and YOU had the heart to give them a place to stay!

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