Is the property manager harassing us?

[orlondo100]

Here's the situation. I met a girl who lives in Virginia Beach in an apartment complex back in March. Since then we've been dating and I'm now staying at her apartment for long periods of time. The past 3 days, maintenance has been out to do some repair and maintenance work on the apartment (minor mold on the bathroom ceiling, replace a slat in the blinds, fix bathroom ventilation, replace AC filter, steam clean carpets) and I've been present AND assisted them each time. They all seem like very nice guys, polite and talkative. However, the guy who I assume is head of maintenance made a comment about another tenants "titties" to me, and just seems to be kinds of a skeez. I laughed it off at the time, but I'm hearing now that in the three years my girlfriend has lived here, he's hit on her repeatedly. Regardless, that's besides the point. Point being, based on how they've treated her in the past blowing off repairs and making excuses, it seems the only reason they've done their job efficiently this time is because I was here (it took her three years to get them to fix two leaky windows that caused mold on her carpets, they finally steamed those areas yesterday while I was here). Immediately after they left, there was a letter on the door. I opened it and it is a letter stating that she has an unauthorized tenant (being me) and can be evicted. The thing is, yes I've been here for extended periods of time, but I technically do not live here. In addition, after my girlfriend spoke with them this morning regarding this matter, they called her at work and complained about her having a charcoal grill sitting out on her patio. I had been cleaning out her storage closet and once she explained that to them they disregarded. However, how would they even know and why would they suddenly complain about it only AFTER she called them this morning to resolve the letter we received? It seems as though she is being TOO closely monitored to where it's become uncomfortable.

The question, I suppose, is where do you draw the line? I understand that there is a system of checks and balances for communities like this. But what if, after my divorce is finally finalized, her and I decide to get engaged, potentially married? Would I not be able to live with my wife in this apartment simply because they don't allow "unauthorized tenancy"? They're asking me to cosign on the lease and fill out an application. My ex wife sort of ruined my credit and there's no way I'd qualify. So how does that work? These "rules" they have seem to interfere with our personal life, so where do you draw the line between these so-called "rules" and basic human rights?

Any feedback is appreciated, especially those that help me figure out what I can do in this situation, if anything. Thanks in advance.

[gillian59]

They are correct. You are unauthorized and she can be evicted.

Yes, unless the approve you moving in, you won't be able to live with her in that apartment. That would generally be true of any apartment anywhere in the US. She can't just move in whoever she likes. If you can't qualify, then you'd have to move somewhere else. That's how it works.

These are not "rules". They are actual LAWS. She does not have the "basic human right" to violate the binding legal contract she has with the LL, which is that SHE rents the unit and SHE is the tenant. Whether or not that interferes with your personal life is, in fact, completely irrelevant.

Edit:
At your place in VA, they simply chose not to be sticklers. But VA law would also have allowed them to credit check and approve anyone if they chose to do so. That's the law everywhere, all 50 states. LL has absolute ability to approve or not approve of any tenant in his property.

Don't think of it as them trying to interfere with you seeing each other. They really probably don't care at all. There are many reasons places do this, often it's based solely on the fact that added people use added utilities and the LL loses money on any utilities in his name when usage goes up but rent does not.