Looking for someone to talk to and counselling.?

[aswynn81]

I have never seek counseling before and am current very frustrated and disappointed with life at the moment.

Lets start with my hobbies and health. I really love singing. and i do hope one day i could become a singer. However, for more than a year, i have been having acid reflux and my vocal chords were injured. Last year June till December, my throat was really very painful and could not even speak properly. That time was really horrible and terrifying. Singing has always been a way to expressed myself and without being able to sing and expressed myself, i felt locked and hopeless, but i persevered and started recovering from January till now. Although the throat might get injured occasionally, it was well enough for me to talk and sing again. I was really happy then and even entered a singing competition. I got through the first round and was really happy. However, the second round is coming this week and my voice isn't good again. I hope it is just a normal flu, but it is really giving me a lot of stress at the moment. I really want to enter this singing competition.

Now its time to talk about family problem. I love my family. However, they never seem to understand me. My sister is in the Uni and always tends to be studying really hard. However, where she is studying, she would completely ignore me whenever i happily tried to strike a conversation with her. She only comes to me when she wants something from me. I would always listen to whatever problem she has, but she never did bothered about mine. Next, my dad, he is a man living in his former glory. I used to respect him a lot. However, he had injured his leg and lost his job. He would sit at home all day and shout at my family. No matter how many times i forgave him, he kept hurting me with the words he says and the action he do, which i totally gave up and decided to not talk to him anymore. As, i mention earlier, my voice was injured and thus during that period last year, i had needed vocal rest. I tend to almost not talk at home. But my family members(auntie, grandmother,etc) didn't understand me. They don't understand the pain i was going through. I really wanted to recover quickly and be able to sing again. I couldn't express myself at all during that time. Instead of comforting me, they kept scolding me for pretending to be "dumb". I have so many other family problems that i won't bother listing it anymore.

Next, since i have been feeling lonely, i always wanted to find a girlfriend to keep me company. I used to be a very daring guy when i was young. I approached the most beautiful girl in my secondary sch in the past. However, she toyed and played with my feelings, which eventually shattered my confidence with girls. I never dared approach girls on my own now. Till recently lsat year, i mustered the courage to talk to the girl i had a crush on. However, she ignored me. I was so depressed. It seem destine that i will never find a girlfriend. Just few months back, i found out that the girl i had crush just got a boyfriend. I felt angry and jealous whenever i see young couple on the streets. I think to myself, "WHY CAN'T THAT GUY BE ME?!" I am a human too, i need and want to be loved. I am not looking for girls for sex or whatever, i am a christian and i promised myself never to have pre marital sex. I JUST WANT LOVE!

I am going to graduate from the poly in just 1 month time, however, i am feeling so stress right now. I have so many projects right now. And just last friday, my lecturer looked down on me and i felt offended. I was partnering the smartest guy in class for a project. The lecturer came up to him and asked him, who did this part, why is it so sucky. The lecturer was obviously referring to me. My results was really good and am only second to the top student. I felt offended, but didnt have the courage to stand up against him. All i did was keep replaying an image of me scolding him back. I detest this world full of hypocrites.

I used to do breathing meditation to keep my stress and emotion level down as i read up that acid reflux could be caused by stress. During that period, i really felt good. However, i stopped for a month and those self hating feeling came back. I tried to meditate again, but could never get into the state anymore. I have learn basic psychology before and i know i am obviously suffering from depression. I really need someone to talk to. please help me.

I didn't give my name when registering as i don't want anybody to recognize me. I hope to get some psychological help in using my mind to heal my throat and stomach and also to find confidence be it in talking to girls or singing on stage. I also hope to find some emotion and stress control tips.

[lifton]

my advice is tighten up

[oz]

go to a local consoling place. most insurances pay for it too

[kenway]

check out chanel 4 OD and look for the food hospital theres an episode on there where they cure an opera singer of her acid reflux!

why not try some counselling? Its usually helpful to talk over you problems with someone supportive

or if you live in England you could refer yourself to your local IAPT service that would give you a better assessment of your problems and give you an understanding of options for help.

[sebastiano53]

This is not a counseling site, it is a question and answer site, not chat or therapy either.

Here are some support groups and a counseling site,.
dailystrength.org
yourlifeyourvoice.com