Should I move to San Diego?

[kendon19]

I currently live on the east coast. Finalizing a LTR breakup (splitting our assets, figuring out finances,etc, and moving our own seperate ways). I have ****** up school and work for low wages in a restaurant.I have also acquired a reputation locally for being a bit crazy and unpredictable,and a bit of a partier.I got into drugs and drinking and haven't gotten out. I've got no family here really, and only a couple friends.

My most recent boyfriend I thought would be "the one", but he more and more seems interested in himself, and he is trying to get out of this town and possibly state as well. We broke up due to some personal problems of his, but still hang out, and still ocasionally have sex. He is the big contributing factor in me not wanting to leave. However, if he isn't certain he loves me, and he is also considering moving somewhere else,maybe it doesn't matter if I leave? Or could even help?

ALSO:
My parents are very religious. I will be required to attend sermons every week, and dress more modestly. I won't be able to go clubbing or go to late night cincerts and events. Even girls' nights out will be difficult to convince them of. I will mostly return to adolescence. There is a possibility I will be pressured into wearing the headscarf again.

But I can live with my parents, or with my sister and brother-in-law, at least until I get on my feet. They don't even know the details of my LTR breakup,.let alone the second boyfriend, or any of the drug use or partying.I would essentially go back to being a kid in their home.Forget about dating.

But sometimes I feel like staying here is a dead end. I have no family, no one to fall back on, and my one friend/ex seems to be leaving before long, too, so what should I do? Would you pack up and move in with your sister in San Diego? Or stay in the D.C area where jobs are easier to come by, but you've fallen into a depressive cycle.

NOTE:
- Continuing college out there won't be an issue; I am still in community college anyway, and have more transferrable credits over there than I do here anyway lol.
- Getting a job will be a little trickier, but I'm not picky and have restaurant/customer service experience.

Please give honest advice. Any other life advice is welcome.I am cleaning up my act on the drugs and alcohol and partying,please no lectures there.

Thank you, peace.:)

[bernd]

Rox, moving to SD or anywhere else will not solve your issues.

But SD is a better place to live than DC. Try to get yourself together, be strong, you have a lot of life you can still work toward anyway you want it.

You know what has not worked. So you know what kinds of people to avoid being around.

You owe it to yourself to do what you feel is right. Sure, it may not be easy right away, but neither was riding a bicycle. You fell off the bike at first, even a number of times, but you kept at it until you got better at it right? Life is just like that.

Pray. Ask God before you go to sleep. Ask Him that you need his guidance of what is the right thing for you to do right now. Say, when I wake, I would appreciate to hear the answer. When you do wake, don't second guess what you felt.

I don't mean to get too religious on you but this works if you open yourself for help.

good luck!

PS edit - OK, maybe SD is better. Actually anything is better than living in DC. Make sure you are getting continuing counseling that can help build your mental and emotional strength again. There are plenty of free and low cost county facilities in SD.

http://www.sdcounty.ca.gov/hhsa/programs/phs/
http://www.sdcounty.ca.gov/hhsa/

[matyas]

I guess my "lingo" isn't up to date, so I'm assuming LTR is a long-term relationship.

San Diego is a big city and there's a lot more partying/drug-usage available there, so if you're trying to cut down on all of that, SD may not be the place for you unless you've got the self-control to deal with everything that comes with the city. As you stated, getting a job will be a little harder while you're there. I haven't lived in SD since '09, but back then it was very, very hard to find a job... though there's always cutting people's lawns if you're in desperate need of the cash.

If the move won't affect your credits then at least college won't be a problem for you. I don't know why you moved away in the first place or how you ended up in DC, so I don't understand what's holding you back except this one friend now. It sounds like you may need some friends/people you trust to lean on and hang out with for a while to help pull you out of that depression a bit, keep you busy.

Staying with your parents would be the safe way, wherever they are, because you'll be in a stable environment and probably somewhere familiar as well (assuming they still live in the same neighborhood as when you were younger), but you may fall farther into depression because of the rules your parents will lay down about not allowing you out whenever you feel the urge.

My final suggestion is: if you can deal with struggling to find a job and have a strong will (which sounds like a yes), then I think living with your sister temporarily will be the best decision. You'll be able to go out when you need a little you time to relax and you won't have to worry about that "headscarf". Just make sure she understands and makes sure it's ok with her husband, and try to remember that it is just temporary. Once you have some money saved up, make sure you get back out on your own so you don't put any stress on her and her husband by staying too long. And make sure to get back into school! That'll always help out in the long run.

Good luck and hope this helps you out some. :)