Should i report a hoarding sister in law, who is supposed to be the caretaker of her ailing 86 yr old father?

[bedyw25]

THey both are constantly ill with different things. She is in charge of his finances... and is an airline attendant... she is gone days at a time leaving him alone with an annoying little dog who messes everywhere. Her father had one lung, CHF x4, insulin dependent DM, and severe neuropathy making it difficult for him to ambulate. My husband & I would try to clean many times. only to anger her and cause snide comments. When He was diagnosed with a fast growing brain tumor. We went to see him. She put us in a hotel.. i did not know why. Then i saw the house... it was so bad i could not get past the front door. there was only a 6in walk way to his chair.. you could see no furniture.. and the smell was overwhelming. my husband and i stayed in His fathers room. i had to dress and undress standing on the bed. the very small bathroom... took my husband 2 hours to pick up enough for me to pee only.. no shower could be taken. I cryed all night... as i had worked 8 hours with my husband exactly one yr prior to clean his fathers room. 14 lawn and leaf bags of trash and 12 of cloths.. later.we had his room clean. I wondered if it stayed that way as we live 3 hours away. now it was worse. the fire dept had to break down the door to get in when he collapsed he fell on his daughter, hoarder, :"caretaker". i left the next day.. appalled that it had gotten so much worse. after much mental debate and discussions with my husband. i could not let him be released back to that environment in one week. so i called APS. Now my sister in law hates me. He died on fathers day. now she hates me blames me for everything. she is trustee over the entire estate and controls my husbands inheritance. She demands he leave me. she has put him on dating web sites, bought him a secret cell phone. pulled me off her facebook and gone looking for his ex girlfriends all to get back at me. and she has not given him his portion of his inheritance (they get monthly oil money and rental money. she has it going into an account i do not know about. and is telling him it is to pay her lawyers. my husband is very passive.. but loves me very much. he is so upset with her...but she has total control... what now?

[reuben29]

THey both are constantly ill with different things. She is in charge of his finances... and is an airline attendant... she is gone days at a time leaving him alone with an annoying little dog who messes everywhere. Her father had one lung, CHF x4, insulin dependent DM, and severe neuropathy making it difficult for him to ambulate. My husband & I would try to clean many times. only to anger her and cause snide comments. When He was diagnosed with a fast growing brain tumor. We went to see him. She put us in a hotel.. i did not know why. Then i saw the house... it was so bad i could not get past the front door. there was only a 6in walk way to his chair.. you could see no furniture.. and the smell was overwhelming. my husband and i stayed in His fathers room. i had to dress and undress standing on the bed. the very small bathroom... took my husband 2 hours to pick up enough for me to pee only.. no shower could be taken. I cryed all night... as i had worked 8 hours with my husband exactly one yr prior to clean his fathers room. 14 lawn and leaf bags of trash and 12 of cloths.. later.we had his room clean. I wondered if it stayed that way as we live 3 hours away. now it was worse. the fire dept had to break down the door to get in when he collapsed he fell on his daughter, hoarder, :"caretaker". i left the next day.. appalled that it had gotten so much worse. after much mental debate and discussions with my husband. i could not let him be released back to that environment in one week. so i called APS. Now my sister in law hates me. He died on fathers day. now she hates me blames me for everything. she is trustee over the entire estate and controls my husbands inheritance. She demands he leave me. she has put him on dating web sites, bought him a secret cell phone. pulled me off her facebook and gone looking for his ex girlfriends all to get back at me. and she has not given him his portion of his inheritance (they get monthly oil money and rental money. she has it going into an account i do not know about. and is telling him it is to pay her lawyers. my husband is very passive.. but loves me very much. he is so upset with her...but she has total control... what now?

senior abuse MUST be reported ASAP.

[orlondo100]

Whoa! Try that now that the guy is dead. See how long until they hang up on you.

You killed him and now you want....What? What do you want?

[coinleain]

Whoa! Try that now that the guy is dead. See how long until they hang up on you.

You killed him and now you want....What? What do you want?

clearly the others did not read all your post coz there is no point in reporting the state of your father in-laws house if he is now dead.
your Husband need to get a lawyer and partition the courts to have his sisters control of his share of his fathers money taken away, she clearly not in the right state of mind, next time your husband goes to her home get him to make a film of the state of her house

[hackett]

If these people are Seniors they have abuse places for senior for you to call sorta like child abuse victims so look in your area and report them if the house is unsanitary

[alburt]

The old guy is already dead--what are you going to report? Your own criminal neglect of your father in law?

Let's look at the facts as reported by you. Sister-in-law lived and cared for the old man until he died. You, by your own admission, barely visited, and when you did, all you did was whine, cry and urinate (which you required help doing).

Sister-in-law is paying Dad's estate to his son--not you. Excuse me, but I think that is the way it is supposed to work.

I demand he leave you too. You are the shrieking banshee of death.