Law-Forums.org

[blaisdell]

So I have had an off and on again relationship with my dad. It started when I was in 7th grade. I never met him and I decided to look him up on Facebook. I found him I asked him who he was dating in 95 and to describe the lady. The description fit my mom even down to her shoe size (she wears 1's in kids). He said her name. I soon had a phone relationship with him. Just texting and phone calls. That stopped. After a month. And I ALWAYS had to start it. I got pissed and didn't message him for 2 years besides on holidays or his birthday. My freshman year comes around and in December the same thing happens but this time he just stopped replying. So I got even more pissed. It's summer now and we started talking again. And he keeps replying. The only thing different now is I know why he wont start the conversation or why he didn't look for me or anything. Bc it was/still is against the law. My mom and i moved recently which meant I was the one who did all the packing and I found the court papers. They clearly state that he can't contact me until I am old enough/not a minor. But it doesn't say I can't contact him. (loop hole) he told me that he was in to some bad things like drugs after my mom left him. And when he got the papers saying he lost all parental rights to a kid he didn't even know he had he said he stopped drugs. He said it was just weed nothing more than that bc even though he was 33 he was still a spoiled little kid. We talked on the phone forc28 minutes and in that time everything about me made since. I stutter and my whole family makes fun of me bc they don't. I'm black. My whole family is white. My mind process is different than there's and I am just a spitting image of him. I can't tell my mom about any of this or she will kick me out(she will to bc she already did once bc I bought the wrong milk) the only person left to talk to is my friends mom. She was my Sunday school teacher from 6-8th grade. She knows a lot about me. I'm actually best friends with her daughter bc of her. Should I just talk to her about it.

[jomei69]

Yes you should talk to her, especially since it is good to talk about this type of stuff.

[giulio]

Talking to a live person is a MUCH better idea than posting on YA

[emek]

only wish your frind

[aswynn81]

Yes you should talk to your friends mom you should talk to her about it to get it off your chest but your friends mom is probably going to tell you to talk about it with your mom but its your choice what you want to do

[aviya]

I feel for you all. And while its totally uncool for a father to not initiate ongoing contact, I can sort of see how he might've put you in the "Too hard basket" which is no fault of yours. Men aren't great at emotion, substances can be a way to feel normal when turbulent emotions inhabit you on a daily basis. As He got over the drugs he also has to get over the fact that you remind him of a battle between him and your mother long gone, and the unresolved pain that goes with it. Because you're a beautiful person that has nothing to with any of that, in the now, an innocent bystander. Your mother may have took on bringing you up which is admirable, but to forbid you from contact,legally or emotionally, because it reminds her of her own shortcomings is shameful I think. ANYONE WHO LAUGHS AT YOU FOR STUTTERING IS AN INSENSATIVE PIG!! Talk to whoever you feel comfortable with, your mother, in my view is handling it badly. You sound more grown up than all of them put together. If it was me I'd persevere, be persistent, men need to be pushed to the point where they'll give you what you want just to shut you up. And he's you're father, you need to remind him of that. Rent the flick "Guess who's coming to dinner" its old, but the speech about what parents owe children at the end is gold. Hugs x