Two of my bridesmaids quit?

[arvad]

So my future sister-in-laws quit because one of them didn't like the dress I had chosen. Like that's ever been unheard of right? The other two maids loved the dress, but this one from the moment she saw it online startes showing my other dresses to try and change my mind. I had chosen a very nice empire waist, single strapped chiffon dress. It was beautiful and flowy, and it looks good on bigger body types. Well, she sends a message out to everyone saying that the dress wasn't flattering on her and that we should look at different dresses, without asking me first pretty much. The other 2 maids respond and say that I love the dress, and that it shouldn't be up for debate. So then the sister of the one who didn't like it replies being passive-aggressive and then claims that she won't stand by and watch her sister be "bullied". No one was bullying her, they stated their opinions just as she stated hers. So in the end, they "bowed out". Is it pathetic that I'm a little upset? Am I wrong here? Everyone says they showed their true colors, and I can agree somewhat, but I can't seem to make myself feel better.

[berwin]

People are psychos. Part of being a bridesmaid is wearing a dress that you think makes you look hideously ugly and fat in honor of your friend or family member who is getting married. You get to pick the dresses. It's nice to take the bridesmaids' opinions into consideration, but there will almost never be a unanimous decision and in the end it's up to you. If they are unwilling to wear something they don't like for one day to keep peace with their future sister-in-law, then everyone is right- they have shown their true colors. Let them be drama queens if they want and just try not to get sucked in.

[syvwkh]

People are psychos. Part of being a bridesmaid is wearing a dress that you think makes you look hideously ugly and fat in honor of your friend or family member who is getting married. You get to pick the dresses. It's nice to take the bridesmaids' opinions into consideration, but there will almost never be a unanimous decision and in the end it's up to you. If they are unwilling to wear something they don't like for one day to keep peace with their future sister-in-law, then everyone is right- they have shown their true colors. Let them be drama queens if they want and just try not to get sucked in.

That is a case of "let your husband-to-be" handle them.

If they are too immature to be BM, then bowing out may be a blessing in disguise. I'm personally not a fan of one shoulder dresses myself, but for a family member or friend, I would wear a sack of 'taters if they wanted me too.

Your other BM are correct, the selected attire is not up for debate.

Good luck

[oz]

Well, empire waists do have a tendency to make people look pregnant, so I can kind of see where they are coming from....but that aside, they are your fiance's sisters, so HE needs to set them straight if anyone does.

Though if you really don't care at this point, just have an uneven wedding party and carry on.

[dacy17]

it's completely understandable why you're upset by this. try not to let it ruin your bid day, though!

[bergh39]

I'd kick them out of the wedding entirely. Where the hell is your fiance in this?

[marlan43]

so sad

[iomar]

No, you have the right to be upset.

At the end of the day its up to the bride and groom what happens at their wedding.
You choose the dresses, not them.
Bridesmaids always wear the same dress...

They are being rude and wanting to cause drama.
So dont let it be a drama. Stop arguing/talking about it with them. If they say they dont want to do it, just say Okay. If they continue on, remind them that you have said Okay, it doesnt need to be a discussion.

Completely ignore their rudeness and continue on as if it doesnt matter at all.

[curadhan74]

Well, you did add to the fray, with your reference to someone else's wedding.
So no wonder they are gone. It was probably the last straw for them, wrong as they were.
But, it was not all your fault. Read on.

Watch just one episode of "Say Yes to the Dress", and you will understand that you are not the only bride to have the maids try to run the show. And if you watched this summer when the cameras went to the bridesmaid's store, wow, never saw so many gleaming eyes and hateful faces. Even Rivers was getting sick of the diva attitudes, that one woman bridesmaid turned down dress after dress because her boobs were not shown to their best advantage by those dresses. And said so, repeatedly. And rubbed her hands around in their direction a lot. On national TV. She did not seem to grasp the fact that it was a church wedding, and the Holy Trinity did not want to see her boobs in church. Neither did anyone else.
Another, did the same rejection thing, because the dresses did not flatter her enough. And another, the dresses were not sexy enough. No one seemed to get the theme of the wedding is the wedding. this is not a bar hop, this is not a frat party. It is a wedding!

So, time to move on. Rivers personally would not replace them. So there are more groomsmen than bridesmaids, no one will care except the groomsmen, they will have to can their "oh boy, going home with a bridesmaid tonight" male fantasy until the next wedding. .
So what.
If you Get more bridesmaids, you will have to start all over again with arguing over a dress.

And Rivers can not say it enough, it is the rudest of the rude for a member of the wedding party to back out of a wedding ceremony, without a darn good reason. And equally rude for the bride to fire somebody.
And does not the groom have something to say to them, like how embarrasing are you two in front of my MIL to be? He has a right to say something, they are family, and acting in a way that embarrasses the whole family.

So for the rest of you brides soon to walk down the aisle, here is how Rivers suggests you begin.
Tell everyone in a meeting with all of them there, all the maids, that you are picking the dress, it will be a color that coordinates with your wedding plans, and you will try to find a dress that makes everyone look pretty. You can not promise they will be a diva.
Tell them also that you will try to keep the cost of it down, you will not pick out anything truly expensive.
And mention that you will do the picking of the dresses. You know what you want, you just have to see it on the maids to see if it works.
If you just go to the salon without saying something, the maids will tread all over you. And take your Mom, or Grandma. Talk to her in advance, to sit back and enjoy herself, but her purpose is to keep the bridesmaids in line. And no, LOL, she is not going to pick the dress either.

Good luck, and do not spoil your wedding any further. Rivers recently found out that a friend of hers is not a friend at all, and has ill feelings towards Rivers for a long time. Good to know. she wanted to be Rivers "Mother," and instruct rivers on the proper way to do, everything. . I had one of those mother things, she was bad at it. . She is dead, and I do not need a substitute. The end. But it did give me a moment of "what a waste of time and money trying to keep her as a friend". Then I have moved on.

[alleyne]

That's tough. My two bridesmaids had a revolution in the fabric store -- I was having their dresses (as well as mine and the flower girl's) custom made by a seamstress. I had chosen flowy A-line, tea length sundresses for my August afternoon outdoor wedding. However, they chose for themselves shiny taffeta pleated-shouldered shifts which they wanted to wear with black hosiery and heels. It was 2 against one and I was bullied into accepting their (stupid) vision. My MOH was insisting that A-Line was NOT flattering on her and she would not wear it. I thought A-line was flattering on everyone. I did let the dress issue go. The flower girl, MOH's baby sister, was quite happy with her dress. I wore my white linen dress with lace overlay and silk trim over bare legs and white sling backs, and was cool and happy. The taffeta girls were sweating like pigs.

Even when you're the bride, sometimes you have to pick your battles. The girls did look beautiful for the photos, and they were able to wear the dresses again, as well as lend them to others for formal dances, etc. so in the big picture it was okay. I still had my beautiful garden wedding.