What? Christian Conservative Women, is the reason for your hatred and ostracism, abuse of this woman?

[ned]

age 64. I have been alone 25 yrs. I have been abstinent from sexual activity for many years, including masturbation. Occasionally, but rarely, I check to see if things work.I am not "burning" if some of you believe in that. I have been stoned already.illegally. My husband is dead. I suspect I have been stoned again by Christians here, due to being unmarried & female, suspected of being gay. I have very strong Christian beliefs which keep me from engaging in lone sexual behavior, having sex with, or living with someone I am not married to. I would never, deliberatley, get involved with a married man, physiclally or emotionally. I made one mistake days b4 my divorce was final,not a 1 night stand. The man was introduced to me, he pursued me. I made a mistake by being introduced in my home when I was going through about 10 life crises. Work, or $, either one, would have alleviated the crises. Our divorce was consensual. He stated he had someone else. We had much opposition to having a happy married life.There was no possibility of reconciliation.. I do not judge, or have an interest in others' sexual activities unless threatening to others or me. I have wanted to date,marry the past 25 yrs, I miss good sex & the good closeness, intimacy which we had at times. A pet does take the place of this.. (I also miss pets &children.). Sex is good in private in the right relationship.I do not believe in sex outside marriage, want love, romance, . Will not tolerate abuse. I want to live to be 100, not going to make it due to the abuse, ostracism,deprivation, lack of means to maintain good health presently, & the past 25 yrs. I am hated by women everywhereand there. I have not been able to have a relationship with a man who was NOT acting on behalf of THE defense attorney of people I had,have cause to sue , who had very strong reasons to keep me from dating,marrying, working, relocating and did,..i.e. he had obtained money fraudulently by discriminating against, abusing,defaming me... There was no reason, physically, that would have kept me from enjoying sex. My husband & I had an active sex life until his Father died, 9 months b4 our divorce. I had no trouble being abstinent. I was victimized by law enforcement in the state I came due to this . I wanted people to know I was not gay. I stated to churches, I was interested in dating,maryring, everything worked, were not going our separate ways due to my sexuality. I also have/had problems due tobeing called gay due to trying to file lawsuits, reporting an attorney to thebar assoc (was a joke, because the Bar Association is also State. My problems with State go back a long way to when I was l7 at least, they withheld vital info from me).. This attorney saw me when it was an extreme conflict of interest on several grounds. I might add, I had a number of causes for lawsutis, never had legal rep. due to it being a threat to others. ).Inever sued for a job nor tried to do so.. I do not have a legal background. & have been grossly taken advantage of all my life.Never wanted to work for state.Last place i would have wanted to work. I have been grossly slandered, do not hate gays,, I am a proud hetero., calling me gay prevents me from living a hetero lifestyle with
Christian friends, I get treated differently, discriminated against. I have not had safe opportunites to meet a man in a safe Christian setting, nor have
Christian men shown an interest in me for moral or long term possible intentions (not shown) an interest specific, legal, stated. discernable but for investigations, defense of others, I would not date anyone who looked like someone I disliked or feared greatly.). I might add I have not always looked as terrible as I do now. (Grace Kelly said badly in a movie, but I guess it was the character,the script writer.) I do not chase men.Women slander me grossly.
I can have climaxes. I do not feel as though I had sex or that sex is completely satisfying w.o vaginal sex with a man. I never had sex with a F, had urges toward a F,, been attracted to or had the slightest interest in sex with a F, .I think both types climaxes are ok. some disagree. I do not believe homosexuality is a sex act, but is gender preference... I can have both types of climaxes, I fast forward sexually explicit material,do not read sexually explicit material,99% of time.. I have suffered persecution from women greatly over sexuality. THEY can say, do anything to me,about me for yrs. I had better not say anything at all, even if I do not know anyone is listening.
For yrs, I had severe pain hours,post coitus, after lst child, 6 yrs of my early sex life was not good.. I was not angry over it. I was very committed to my marriage did not plan to divorce I was shy sexually, also. It was difficult to talk of this. No one cared. Not even the dr.responsible I was also the victim of sexual abuse when young, but overcame t

[bing49]

you made that choice...I COULD not live like that...RANT WAY TOO LONG AND TIRH

[dasco]

it is very unusual for questions to be so long here.
you should not expect much response.

i dont know what you are asking

[naseem]

What?