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[jabarl]

Hi forum
I moved to France wean I was just 4 going on to 5 ( for the weather ) wean I started school I was so confused, I would not dare ask for anything, there for one day I couldn't hold it in longer and you get the picture. After that I was 6 I had this brand new, young, (26 to 30) just arrived in the job, teacher. Now this teacher had special ways of teaching for example, to teach a skinny little frigid, 6 year old boy that was terrified of water, to swim, she would simply hold him over the water while he screamed and kicked in every direction and would make some of the kids cry and for that he was punish, he was sent on the bench back to everybody. My mother that was a volunteer to help survey the kids at the time went up and comforted this shaking (really shaking) little boy, she took him in her arms and had a little chat. From there on this teacher mead it her lifts hobby to turn me in to the most heated and repulsive thing she could, she analysed me figure me out and did what everything she could to mess me up WITHOUT getting cot, she would humiliate me a bit more that she would the other pulps and she would take it a step further every time, in the end I was pretty much responsible for everything that went range in the class, wean we were learning to rite she would not get off my back , yelling humiliations at me wile I was terrified ,stunned , unable to concentrate, and today I have the worst spelling grammar and righting I now of, also I still have trouble with my time tables I learnt to tell the time only at the age of 12 and have trouble remembering the last 4 month in order for some reason, even If I have re-educated myself over and over it just won’t stay. This is a good one, she literally put chit on my desk sow all the flies would come to me I remember smelling my desk and smelling a very fine odder of chit, and wean I changed desk they followed me a few days later and this time it really stunk, and wean I asked her she burst out yelling that I was a filthy FILTHY ! Little boy BUT all this was for my good she would tell me wean keeping me after class monitoring my fkup progression. HO! Oslo she must of have known a good deal of graphology for the rare moments she was disturbingly nice to me and ACTUALY helping me with my work without me asking for anything, I remember her adding anchor strokes that is buy my homework. (Dr.Lawrence Epstein . He found that writers using them showed distinct emotional and social attitudes; they tend to be more passive, less confident and less emotionally mature than writers who made no attempt at using anchor strokes. They are more conformist, both in their judgments and the way they respond to situations. They have a greater acceptance of conventional expressions of authority and place a high value on power in others, they express the opinion that individuals should be expected to fall in with the wishes of family members OR anybody in authority ......and on and on.)
That’s not half of what happened but the result of it was that I was very aware after that of teachers that WANTED to teach and the owns how are in the job primarily for the authority power , I have never had the courage in education form, to me it seems as I can try all I want I will never be to the slander, and I those mi friends and girlfriend’s badly as the people I really enjoy being with I do not believe I can be as good as a schooled be , I don’t believe I can give them satisfaction. I try to study I really want to go to a college any won to do anything and take it from there but just doing my 6 to 7 year old study for kids book that I boat makes me go in a stat of rage every 15 min.
The question is what do you think? I am not asking for petty, I would just like opinions and chaired experiences NOT a competition and don even think of telling me that I should cheer up there is worse things in the world.