What should we do about this appeal for help?

[kirklin]

The news desk at channel 4 have been given a heads-up over this breaking story and have despatched a news crew to report on the devastation.

Researchers are manning the phones trying to get quotes from Scientists who are citing this as further proof of the devastating effects of Global Warming brought on by the consumption of too much booze, kebabs and indian food, which led to an outbreak of flatulence that exceeded Wolverhampton's carbon emissions target.

Stay with us as we go to a commercial break that features our newest range of sheep diapers for eco-conscious farmers...