Girlfriend seems to have left me in the dust?

[rickie]

I am now 22, and normally a quiet and thoughtful person. About basically two years ago, I met the woman that was almost love at first site for me. It was in a class I was taking, and after some attempts I got to date her. Long story short, we became a couple in a month or two. I admired her intelligence, confidence, drive, and many other aspects of her wonderful personality.

During the relationship, her parents never knew of us because she's Indian, and was afraid of their disapproval. Most if not all of my friends had moved before I met her, so didn't have anybody to really introduce her to, and as much as I tried with the family, it only happened once out of about fifteen attempts. In the beginning of the relationship I was the super man of faithfulness! I'm guessing because of her insecurities and previous relations with men, she thought it a good idea to still text dirty things to guys I'm guessing to feel validated? Anyways, after multiple times of catching her in the act, she stopped and we developed further as a couple learning new and different things about each other of course. She was the first girlfriend I celebrated a birthday with (very sheltered younger life), she was the first woman that I went on a road trip, just a lot of memories there. She has always been a very independent woman straight from the get go. The only way I was really able to get some dependency from her was through emotional support which happened less and less. I on the other hand always had stuff to happen, whether it was a broken down car, or family death, or someone in rehabilitation and other situations. No matter how independent I attempted to be, she always felt she had to save the day, which I constantly tried changing. When my family did meet her, they misinterpreted the dynamics of our relationship; they saw her calling me stupid as being a sign of disrespect, but to us it was playful banter. My mother kept telling me that it would probably end with me being the one with the heart break, while she was setting herself up for an easier transition. It pissed me off that she was right, wanted to show her that it wouldn't happen.
(Sorry getting off track) So, she graduated from the University and moved back home which is about two hours away. Since then, she has talked less and less to me and I felt like I was talking to myself almost everyday. Recently, she came to town and we talked and she broke it off. Weeks later she gave me a much needed explanation and said that she loved me, but she was fine being single and not together. Now that there is really no need for any emotional support from me (since nothing is really happening), she thought what was the point? I'm studying law, she's studied biology; my family is in another state and can't help financially, she lives with hers and can live off of the financial stability they provide. Just didn't seem to work out no matter what scenario was created. Now that we aren't together it feels like she only kept me around for the "emotional stability", even though she says she loves me, I don't feel it from her anymore. I feel like i'm the only one of us going through the break up honestly and feel abandoned, hurt, mad, dissapointed, lonely, just all around not in the cheeriest moods. We still talk, but it doesn't feel like the same to me, and changes with each word that she says, which just hurts more and more.
I know it's naive for me to think we will get back together, at least right now. I just don't know how to handle the relationship if I should be friends or leave her alone. Also, she was and probably will be my best friend, so to go from being together to single in two weeks flat was way quick of a transition for me. She's been able to focus on everything she wants being her career and whatever else, while I'm stuck in the reminiscent period, wishing I did something differently to keep her in my life the only way I've known. It got so bad for me, that I spent a couple nights crying to sleep (I don't cry!), and just unsure where to go from here. Can someone please tell me how they dealt with a basically forbidden love? Do you move on, or do you stay in the place of hope? Now she talks about wanting to be friends with benefits, so either I have her as a friend and lose the only real connection we shared which was through intimacy, or I have to lose someone who has been a very influential part of my life. Did I set myself up for failure from the beginning?

[adamka]

Wow big question! in fact series of questions.
So James bro, I can only advice or suggest and you're the one who has to take the decision.
I am a guy who was heart broken too and I have been single ever since then.
I can suggest ways to overcome this agony and pain that you're in because I went through it and overcame it.
As I read your problem, I also discovered answers in it! You know everything deep inside but you are not willing to accept it and you're just looking at a wall which will never vanish.
Just stop it and be the person you were! You were alive and happy without her and you will be happy without her!

It's time to face the truth and avoid all contact with her! I know it sounds like hell and impossible but you can't be 'friends' with her. She might take you as a friend but you won't be able to take her as a friend. Can you imagine her with another guy laughing and happy? you'll get jealous and it'll be more painful than it really is right now.

Stop all contact, don't stalk her and leave her. Dump all that is remaining between you and her. She didn't care and doesn't care about the pain that you are in. A person loving you will never hurt you this much.. I bet you'll find much better girl than her and remember it all sounds bitter right now but just let time heal you! Believe me after like 1 month you'll be like 'TOUGH' and will have time for yourself.

Look, You are a man and you can handle it if you want. She is history.. don't make yourself dependant on her or anyone and learn to live by yourself. It doesn't mean being selfish but it's just caring for yourself. Who cares? Nobody!

You can contact me via email if you want any help!