Had a experience in a hot tub with a close group of friends. really questioning things?

[aescby]

So my friends family was all gone for the past week and we decided to hang out there drink play games etc. well me and these 3 other friends 1 female 2 male were in the hot tub playing truth or dare. it went from innocent to quiet a bit sexual. to elaborate on this group theres me. a girl i consider a extremely close friend no sexual intent there. my best male friend. and my sister in laws ex boyfriend who in a really strange turn of multiple events has become a very close friend of mine over a few years. I have for the passed few years turned into not a tight *** but really modest closed off shy quiet and such. this came about after a few years of drug use and sexual encounters that i have since dropped. during truth or dare we all ended up naked which at first i was totally against. i am like i said a very shy person not to mention i have low selfesteem and self confidence but getting alcohol into me really changed that so there we were all naked daring eachother to do stuff such as going naked down the water slide onto a board across the pool. or naked cartwheels. then when we all were tired started the truths. i found out i wasnt the only one that had weird sexual experiences but when it came to me i had plenty of stuff that i have done for drugs and under the influence of drugs that nobody knew of. involving a few sexual acts with other guys and once a way older man. i told them all these and they seemed not to care one bit but i feel like im being extremely judged on my past. these are my best friends and now our relationship is pretty awkward and i dont know what to do. nobody has said anything directly but i can tell that my best friend and my basically seragete sister have been talking about it and im worried i may have said too much. what should i do to put myself at ease? im a nervous wreck over all this and im scared my friends dont aprove of me anymore.

[donough]

It is a big deal, or it will become one if you wait too long. Just tell them that this is how you feel. If you are really bad at confronting people try writing it down and practicing before you finally tell them. It will be better when they know how you feel. Then if they don't just come out and say that they don't care ask them what they think about it. Honestly.

[gideon]

Explain to all three people involved in the hot tub incident that what you described was "the old" you. Tell them that you are off drugs now, (except alcohol evidently :) ) and that you disapprove of your past, and you would not do that again. Explain that when you are addicted to drugs, you do whatever you can, to get money for more drugs.

Explain that you now know that you made mistakes in your past, and that you want them to judge you on who you are now.

I really don't think that they are talking badly about you behind your back. If they didn't want to associate with you, they would have told you that already, and they would have told you why. I think they are willing to still be friends with you, and that they have not judged you by your past.

Talk to them about this quickly, so that you can resume your friendship at its fullest.

Good Luck !!!