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[juanito]

I feel horrific right now. Extremely confused. Recently going on for about 3 years I've done something so horrible, so perverse, that I now think I'm going to hell. And it's scaring me to the core. I did it because of my personality and now I'm so scared I've become one of the people I once feared. Now as I've looked through this website I've found it suitable for my question. There are a lot of trolls (heck this is so ridiculous ppl might accuse me of being one), but there are a lot of good people with honest answers.

To start, I'm a Christian. Or so I thought. I don't even know anymore, I've gone down such a path, I dont know if I deserve to be called that anymore. I feel as if the devil has been inside me.

What happened was that 3 years ago I was arrested for having beer as a person under the age of 21. Since I was 18, I got taken to the county jail. Now I was a minimum security, low priority inmate, so outside of the cells I was mixed with males and females before my bond hearing during my phone call, that's when I saw Hannah. She was there for drunk in public. I remember as I sat next to her in my orange jumpsuit I noticed her hair. My lord that's probably what got me. It was beautiful. Anyway, we all (me and 4 other male inmates + 3 female inmates including Hannah) had our bond hearing. I got released on a personal bond (No bail, just a promise I'd pay the citation) and Hannah did too.

As I was outside the county detention center waiting for my friends to pick me up, Hannah, was also outside, and we talked, she seemed cool and mellow and a nice girl, so I talked to her, and gave her my cell number.

A week later she called me, and we hung out. Then my nightmare/fantasy began.

Now, I've always been a good, Christian, God, fearing man who before this had never broken the law, but after I became friends with Hannah, I've gone down a very dark path.

Ok, when I turned 19, my parents kicked me out of my home, what was once my home, so I lived with Hannah, and she had an idea of how we could make a lot of money. Her brother, had tried doing something similar and somewhat succeded.

Her idea, was for me to get into shape, by going to the gym everyday, working out and getting a movie star's body (she paid for the gym) and go to a dermatologist (I had acne), and to practice sexually with her (I felt horrific about this, I used to only want to have sex once I got married)

The outcome of all of this was to seduce an older woman and eventually get her to marry me.

I know. It's horrific, but I agreed. I've always been lazy. Heck before this I got supported by Hannah when my parents kicked me out, and after high school I never went to college. So I saw this as a golden ticket to riches.

So our plan started. After I became a "hunk" I started going to places where lonely rich women went under Hannah's guidence. And I tried seducing them.

Well, I succeded. A woman named Kimberly took an interest in me, a big interest, I pretended to like her for herself and after a while our relationship got physical. She is NOT attractive, and part of the plan was for me to have sex with her. So Hannah gave me Cocaine and Speed to deal with it, and apart from that I also smoked a lot of weed and drank a lot before, you know.

An it has been like that for a while. And the endgame was for me to propose to her.

Now, she is a very wealthy woman, her net worth is give or take around 17 Million! Quite a bit!. and me and Hannah were supposed to split the settlement 40/40 and her brother got a 10% (his idea)

Well I did propose to her and she said yes, and since I've been quite a good actor, there is no prenup. and as soon as we get married, 2 years from now, the plan is for me to divorce her, get the best divorce attorney available (That Hannah's brother is paying for), and for me to get a big settlement and alimony.

I feel so guilty about this, Kimberly is actually a really nice woman, she lost her husband a few years ago and has found comfort in me. I'm pretty sure I'm not breaking the law here, but what I'm doing is horrific, and I feel like I'm going to hell.

The wedding is in 7 months. What should I do? I swear, every fiber in my body feels like telling the truth and calling the whole thing off! But the lazy part in me just sees the paycheck at the end of the tunnell and the time I'll have with Hannah.

What should I do?

[baigh]

If ÿou really love Kim stay with her if not bail your not
Doing anything wrong your mind did it anyways

[shen86]

You know what you should do... thats why theres trolls on here.

[regenweald]

tell the woman what happend its best to let your conciance be free of burden as a catholic i can see where your coming from as per the no fondecation before marrige but seriously don't go through with this plan you will never forgive yourself

[delron]

Hanna is obviously just using you, why should you and for selfish reasons hurt someone else. Can you imagine the pain Kim had gone through and now she has found love again and you are about to ruin that for her. If you are a "Christian" you know you are not living a worthy life and you should pull your act together. I think you should tell Kim the truth and cancel the wedding, but if you love her tell her the truth and by the way she react move on from there. But don't get yourself in a hole too deep to dig yourself out of. Money unfaithfully earned is posion

[dodya]

Wow, what a story.

I feel so... I don't know. Confused, upset and yet a little happy for you.

First of all, don't think about Hannah for a second. Cut her out of the image when you read this:

Do you actually like the other woman?
Are you just doing this to use her?

I think if you actually like her, continue with the wedding, forget about all of this and throw Hannah out of your life (by telling her that you can't do this because you've grown a passion into the other woman).
If you don't like her, I honestly think that is very, very, very cruel thing to do.
With all of this **** going on in this world and about Kimberly loosing her husband, I think you should stop.

If you think it's alright then okay, no one is stopping you, but if you were placed in Kimberly's spot, what would you do? How would you feel?

I honestly am not here to make you do something, I'm just trying to give you an honest and fair opinion.

If you don't care that much about Kimberly and yet she cares about you and you're okay with doing this whole thing then do it. You said she is wealthy. She'll have enough money to continue living.

But this will always stay with you, so make sure you will never do this to future girlfriends /wife.

Best of luck.

[gervaso81]

your christian right?

Why are you asking us? Ask your God.





How can you justify what you are doing to yourself. It is so messed up.
Go through with it and you go to hell

[zackary42]

Buddy, moneys not everything, u should tell the lady the truth move out and find a job and a place to live... And if u believe in hell do u think its worth it?? To spend ur rest of eturnaity(srry about spelling) in hell... I don't think soo

[hussein]

I think what you need to do is tell kimberly what you have been planning and see how your relationship turns out, you need to tell Hannah that you won't continue with this, but since you have spent so much time over the last 2 years with her, you most likely won't want to lose her which you most likely will if you don't fulfil the plan, so what you need to decide is whether you would rather have hannah or save kimberley from the hurt you will put her through, take into account the fact that kimberley loves you, wishes to marry you, and then imagine how she'll feel when she discovers that the new man in her life, the one in a million that came along after her husband passed, was just lying, doesn't love her back and just wants her money. unless you have other extremely close friends like hannah, who you'll still have after this ordeal, then you'll also have to remember that you either have to ruin, Kimberley's, or your life. :/ where will you go, who will you talk with, how will you pay for necessity's, would your parents allow you back? good luck in your decision.

[aldric13]

Dear Troll. The pride and satisfaction that you must feel at this moment are probably one gigantic sea of accomplishment. You have done something truly momentous. I offer you my congratulations. You are one of the few people with a life so meaningless and devoid of stimulation, that you have ascended to the throne of the mundane,and created something utterly pointless by posting this. Normally, I would have admired your insignificance from afar, but something about this worthless attempt to entertain yourself made me stop and comment. I pity the pathetic hopelessness of your existence; you must truly have nothing else in life. I honestly and earnestly hope that you got a few laughs out of this, because you must have an absolutely horrible, boring, and lonely life. I'll end with some advice, that's sure to be useful sometime in your future. When you try to kill yourself, cut vertically instead of horizontally. It will drastically lessen the chance that you'll return to the world that has so hated and abandoned you, and it should stop you from burdening other human beings with your unimaginative pleas for help. Have a great day and God speed.