Keeping family visits fair?

by **morcan** » Tue Jul 24, 2012 7:31 am

We currently split our vacation between each side of the family. 4 or 5 days in each place. However, my husband's family has started driving up and visiting for a day or two (staying in a hotel) when we are visiting MY side of the family. My side is pretty worked up over this. They don't think it's fair and complain that they are encroaching on the only time they get to spend with us. Quite honestly I agree with them, but my husband thinks everybody should just share the time and it's no big deal. I cannot get him to see my point of view on this (although we usually agree on other things) and it's causing a lot of strife. Do you think my family is just being selfish or have my in-laws really stepped over the line?

by **hackett** » Tue Jul 24, 2012 7:34 am

tell your husbnand to try to get his act together and to actually try to see if you can talk him into seing your point of view tell him not to get drunk or make a bad impression hope it helped

by **elkanah1** » Tue Jul 24, 2012 7:36 am

Treat them kindly and like one big family. Then have your parents come stay in a hotel during the times you are with your in-laws. If they don't love it, they may quit doing it themselves. If you or your family complains, it will seem like you guys are being petty and selfish. Confronting them could cause a lifelong riff. Wouldn't you rather get along?

by **juanito** » Tue Jul 24, 2012 7:53 am

If you only see your family for 4 - 5 days a year, it is very reasonable to not want to share that time. I don't think your in-laws are selfish; I think they just don't grasp the importance of you spending quality time with your own family. You have got to convince your husband that a problem is building up here because of his parents being part of the only 4-5 days a year you see your family.

Why don't you try giving your husband a holiday while you visit your family at their place and he is at home. I have a niece who does that every year and it works out very well. Your husband can simply tell his family that it will avoid all the boring time when you and your family are talking about family members that he doesn't know, or your old school friends that he doesn't know, etc. Think it over.

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