by reid » Sat Oct 29, 2011 12:18 am
What I hate about us married people with children is that we do stuff that destroy the marriages, and disadvantage our children, We then spend the next hundred years blaming each other and creating an even worse situation for our children. We go to court and fight over our children as if we love them when we actually do not. A parent who loves his/her children would create the best secure environment for those children and that is for them to live with both loving parents having no arguments.
We then introduce the worse possibly thing in our children's lives. Step parents. There is nothing worse to a child than a step parent and in many cases nothing worse to a new spouse than a step child. Read the write up on them Its terrible.
What is a 12 year old supposed to do? Leave a sick mother and go and live with her dad? Yes that is what is safe for her but imagine how she is looking at it. Nobody to look after her mother so she feels she has to do it herself at age 12.
Read about 9 year old parents from HIV infested southern Africa and understand that we are doing the same to our children, minus the disease.
To answer your question: Yes at 12 the court asks what the child wants to do before passing judgement. It is a terrible question to ask a 12 year old to choose between mum and dad. But do not blame the judge. it is mum and dad who decided to divorce and cause her to start thinking which one to live with.
Divorce in USA is around 50% and affects millions of children adversely. And it is all caused by us, parents when we get selfish and forget our responsibilities to our innocent children.