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[aethelbert35]

In my life I have had other relationships with girlfriendswho smoke and who don’t, for first time in my life my current girlfriend withwhom we have been living together for about 6 months wants to make it ultimatum,so is either her or the pot.

Nobody dumped me before because of my “habit”, I smoked thefirst time I met her and then on a few other times that for her that seems toomany and that I do this every day according to her.

My reality is that I smoke every now and then and sometimesyes it could be everyday but personally this is not my preference as I don’t enjoyit when is too often as much as when is not so often. I’m a 35yo fellow and Iwont change my habit, it is sad because you know how this goes, I have neverliked being blackmailed and I disagree into stay in a relationship bysacrificing something I enjoy even when from her it might be for my bestinterest and the sake of our relationship and future as a family if we ever goahead and get over this issue.

I have my very own personal opinion about pot andunfortunately I will have to let her dump me because of this.

I am responsible with my work and life, I drink but I’m noteven a drunken person and I definitely know that I’m not that kind of man.

From her perspective as well as for probably most of youguys reading my question, the thing is clear, if I don’t stop smoking thatmeans I don’t love her enough, not willing to sacrifice a stupid habit for love,etc, on and on reasons.

I obviously don’t like this frame of thinking and I find itchildish, I can turn it around and go ahead and say things like, ok, she isjudging me by what the media and laws are telling people about it, I must be acriminal by being a smoker, I can alsothink that if she leaves me because of my habit it also means that she didn’t reallyloved me ever and that is all about the superficial judgement dictated bysociety, laws, media, etc.

Rather than getting to really know me this is just purejudgement.

I work hard and smart, I am responsible with my life andwork, I am not a nobody, I have 2 different degrees/diplomas, I can make goodmoney and give her the world if she wants it, I can do everything for her but Iam not willing to stop doing what I enjoy doing. I will really be devastatedwhen she breaks up with me but I will have to let this happen because I am notwilling to make a truce on her terms, very sadly.



Any thoughts please, help, personal experience? … Based onwhat I call the childish terms, do you think that if she dumps me it means shejust didn’t really loved me? If I let her go it really means I didn’t loved her?

I believe in respect and real pure love for each other, I accepther with all her virtues and defects and I know very well I love her for realbut I don’t want to be with someone who don’t really love me for what I am andcan leave me because I smoke weed and is not willing to really get to know meand see that I am not a bad guy.

[hwistlere31]

That's ****** don't dump her because she wants u to stop smoking weed shes just looking out for you .

[darik2]

Im sorry but i didnt read all of that but i didnt think i really needed to.
Noone on here can tell you want to do, If you love her enough to stop then great do that but if you dont then why are you with her in the first place.

[orlondo100]

I am sorry, but just stating my opinion after reading this - you say that you would give her the world and do anything for her... yet you cannot quit smoking pot for her? This makes no sense. You therefore would NOT give her the world and you would NOT do anything for her. Am I not correct? In addition, did she tell you why it is that she wants you to quit? I wouldn't want my boyfriend to smoke pot at all, simply because it cannot be good for you if you do it on a regular basis. What are her motives in wanting you to quit? Is she looking out for you?

Can I ask you, do you know what love is? Love is completely selfless. It is not thinking about yourself, it is only thinking about the other person and what is best for them. So if you quit smoking, will that be best for her? Your future children? Or is smoking pot only benefiting yourself? You are willing to give up the woman who you claim to love in order to maintain contact with the drug that you love? Who do you love more, pot or your girlfriend?

Can I also ask you why a person would be dictated by the media or society just because they do not like drugs? What?? How does this make sense? Scientifically, weed has been proven to harm the brain, heart, reproductive system, endocrine system, central nervous system, etc.

Think about what you want out of life. Is weed really worth giving up the girl that you claim you would give the world? Your reasoning seems to be very contradictory, and self-focused. If she stayed with you, and you continued to smoke weed, you will not only continue to endanger your health, but will endanger hers as well as create bad influences for your future children.

Who is more childish? The person who cannot give up a personal pleasure for the happiness of his loved ones, or the person that forces their loved one to give up a personal pleasure for their own good?

I probably sound like an asshole to you, but I'm just being completely honest, and you do not have to listen to me. This my personal opinion and you are entitled to your own. I am only telling this to you because I want to influence you to make a decision that is best for the both of you. I hope it all works out.

[sherborne16]

Personally I would dump her. Screw the weed i'd dump her for threatening to leave me over something that stupid i'm not a kiss *** who will obey everything a woman does over fear that she will leave me, because then that'll show she doesn't love me not the other way around that you don't love her. marijuanas not even that bad if it was cocaine then now you have a big problem. In the end it's your choice dude your decision. Im not recommending you do what i said just that that's what i would do

[osryd]

Personally I would dump her. Screw the weed i'd dump her for threatening to leave me over something that stupid i'm not a kiss *** who will obey everything a woman does over fear that she will leave me, because then that'll show she doesn't love me not the other way around that you don't love her. marijuanas not even that bad if it was cocaine then now you have a big problem. In the end it's your choice dude your decision. Im not recommending you do what i said just that that's what i would do

No, it doesn't mean she doesn't love you. We all make choices. Loads of people have made similar choices between an amourous relationship on the one hand, and an addiction like booze, tobacco, whatever on the other.

It's true that most arguments against cannabis are lies, but if she doesn't want to be in a relationship with a "stoner", that's her choice.