Sponsored by:

My mother thinks my mother-in-law-to-be is being pushy, what do you think?

My mother thinks my mother-in-law-to-be is being pushy, what do you think?

Postby blaeey » Wed May 16, 2012 6:17 pm

I feel like my mom's being a little insecure about things, and while I err on the side of not caring and letting stuff slide, it's like she errs on the side of assuming something's a slight.

Most recently, my fiance's mother (we're getting married this June) told me that her best friend (let's call her Peggy) offered to make corsages for my fiance's mother and aunt (who's almost like a grandmother to him), to save my parents money. My reaction was, Okay, that's weird, and they won't match, but okay, thanks, I guess.
(Peggy's actually a kind of pushy person in her own right. At my engagement party she introduced herself as "the wedding planner". She and my future MIL used to have a catering business together, and still do flower arrangements/decorations and food for wedding receptions, so they're both fairly confident about making corsages and the like.)

Now when I told my mom this, to remind her to tell the florist we're getting, she was kind of affronted. She saw it as rude of Peggy to offer to get corsages....but only for the groom's side (her best friend). Supposedly, something similar like this happened at Christmas-time, when Peggy was throwing my fiance and me a shower at her house. Her son had done our engagement photos, and Peggy had framed a large one for the party, and then she announced to everyone that she was giving it to my future MIL. My parents were pissed about that, since they're the parents of the bride, and if anything it should be equal.

So, my mom is stressed out because she sees this as another way in which my future MIL is trying to separate the two families and make herself stand out (she hangs out with a pretty ritzy crowd, who all have huge houses and all their families have lived in the same area for generations). She also is jealous and feels that that my future MIL acts in a way so that she is always very sweet and then she gets her way.

So, I'm just trying to make it through the wedding. I have not at all acted like a bridezilla, and I kind of wish I had, just so I could be the one causing the drama instead of dealing with it. I told my mom I would call my future MIL and tell her to tell Peggy thanks but no thanks, and that I really would rather all the corsages look the same/like they were made by the same person.
What do you think, and what would you do about this situation?
blaeey
 
Posts: 777
Joined: Fri Apr 01, 2011 9:07 pm
Top

My mother thinks my mother-in-law-to-be is being pushy, what do you think?

Postby vruyk » Wed May 16, 2012 6:28 pm

At this point, I would please my own mother. Tell the MIL and Peggy that your mother already has plans for the floral side of things but thank you so much for the sweet offer.

It is odd for someone to just offer to make their own and the MIL corsages. And, yes, a bit pushy.
vruyk
 
Posts: 813
Joined: Sat Apr 02, 2011 2:18 am
Top

My mother thinks my mother-in-law-to-be is being pushy, what do you think?

Postby dureau » Wed May 16, 2012 6:30 pm

It is quite rude to offer to get something for someone's wedding but for only one side of the family.
So 'peggy' was wrong to do that

(I never understand why people use fake names on here...its not like we're going to trace you...)

Does peggy have a relationship with your mother at all?
If not then why would she buy a big frame and give it as a gift to your mother?
You wouldnt...you would give it to your friend, and if that happens to be the grooms parents then thats fine.

I think peggy was rude about the corsages, (unless she offered to just pay for the grooms side and not get different ones to what you wanted)

but other than that shes fine.

Your mother is being a bit dramatic.
dureau
 
Posts: 777
Joined: Sat Apr 02, 2011 12:50 pm
Top

My mother thinks my mother-in-law-to-be is being pushy, what do you think?

Postby pete » Wed May 16, 2012 6:39 pm

Yes, it is rude and pushy to want to do different corsages for only one side of the family. If I were you I would tell your MIL that you and your mother have the flowers and corsages under control, thanks anyway.
pete
 
Posts: 839
Joined: Thu Mar 31, 2011 8:34 am
Top

My mother thinks my mother-in-law-to-be is being pushy, what do you think?

Postby zadok » Wed May 16, 2012 6:40 pm

The MIL is being a *****. Your mum is the one who does it all she's the mother of the bride. My MIL did the same, I was married 4 weeks ago and she is still carrying on & I actually found out she was bitching about me on the wedding night. My husband us upset and wants me to apologize for a couple of things, but this is meant to happy time for us, and I feel I shouldn't apologize. This is your wedding day do it as you want it, because it seriously goes that quick Its over in a flash, and you want it to be a memorable time for you & your future husband.
zadok
 
Posts: 793
Joined: Fri Apr 01, 2011 4:39 am
Top

My mother thinks my mother-in-law-to-be is being pushy, what do you think?

Postby larry » Wed May 16, 2012 6:45 pm

I don't see why your relationship to your fiance's family is any of your mother's business. You need to tell your Mom to stop worrying about what other people do. If you are fine with your in-laws and Peggy, then it's not anything your Mom should be thinking about.
larry
 
Posts: 862
Joined: Thu Mar 31, 2011 7:10 am
Top


Return to Family Law

 


  • Related topics
    Replies
    Views
    Last post

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 0 guests