What is my boyfriend thinking? How is his brain working? His words said one thing; his actions the other?

by **caomh** » Sat Jun 23, 2012 7:31 am

My bf and I are 20 and have been together for a year. He broke up with me 5 days ago. We had a date night, and were great. He was calling me babe and kept kissing me. However, before our date, he texted me saying "dinner or sex? You can only pick one. I'll only make time for one". That hurt and felt degrading, although he said later on that he was just kidding when he saw I was mad. After dinner, we had sex in his car. Before I even put my clothes back on, he called his friends and pretended that they needed him to leave right then and there so they could get high. That was the second week in a row he did that where he just ran off after sex. I was hurt. I later told him that he made me feel more used than my ex(who he hates) ever did. He read it at 11:52pm and 1 min later at 11:53pm without thinking about it (I think he was still high and/or drunk from hanging with his friends), he texted saying "I didnt use you for sh*t. I gave you the option of sex or dinner and I gave you both. So I guess I'm done with you". I stopped contacting him after that since he ignored my phone call. I know a part of him is waiting for me to talk first, begging for him back since I always do, but I'm staying strong this time. I usually call 20x (literally) and beg him to communicate and work it out, just to have him make me list all the reasons why I want it to work and what's so great about him than finding some other guy. After I tell him, he'd laugh and say "okay babe, we're fine again. Don't stress".

We work across from each other at the mall (he works at Opa; I work at Foot Locker) and when he's seen me since then, he keeps looking at me. Even my coworkers noticed that during his break, he kept turning around to look at me and it looked like he and his coworkers kept talking about me. The mall is also connected to my university, so my friends and I eat in the food court near him during our breaks between classes, where I made sure to look nice and was always laughing. They have all caught him look several times, and he just keeps staring. They say it looks like his heart stops when he sees me me in the food court, then just stares from that point on after. I've seen him every day for the last 3 days.

I know he's shocked that not only did I not beg for him like normal, but I also deleted him off fb, twitter and tumblr so he has no access to information about me or my feelings whatsoever. I am also his first real girlfriend (his longest fling before was 2 months). But lets face it, he took me for granted. Does this mean he could possibly miss me and regret what he did out of anger? Do you think he'll ever speak to me again?

by **curran** » Sat Jun 23, 2012 7:37 am

Why do you want him to speak to you again ? Its time to move on . xx

by **anglesey34** » Sat Jun 23, 2012 7:42 am

Sounds like u have a keeper

by **osmont** » Sat Jun 23, 2012 7:44 am

his mind: i had sex with my gf today
your mind: what u just wrote

its that simple.

by **hjortur** » Sat Jun 23, 2012 7:45 am

no one on here can tell you that only time will tell..we don't know your ex or current bf. If you want to seriously know ask him but don't make it a date just talk about it calmly and maturely.

by **juanito** » Sat Jun 23, 2012 7:50 am

no one on here can tell you that only time will tell..we don't know your ex or current bf. If you want to seriously know ask him but don't make it a date just talk about it calmly and maturely.

Wow, lots of red flags here. First, this guy is a total loser. But, you seem to like guys like that, so that suggests that you are also a loser (not trying to be insulting, just stating an observation based on the information the you gave). Second, you had sex in his car (Camaro or pickup?). You are nothing but a piece of meat to this guy. You're not important enough to take home, or get a motel room with, so he has sex with you in his car (which you agreed to, another red flag). Third, getting high with his friends is more important to him than spending time with you, but you're OK with that, because you haven't done anything to stop it. Fourth, he's 20 and he works at a mall (and that's probably as far as he will ever go in life).

From your comments, this guy is no different from your ex that supposedly treated you like crap. I have news for you honey, this guy's not an upgrade. And your next boyfriend probably won't be either because you keep dating guys like this. My advice, get out of the situation completely.

by **jerard** » Sat Jun 23, 2012 7:57 am

funny how even good people can act like idiots. You obviously see the give and take of the relationship and how both of you are acting pretty immature. Ask yourself if you are his first "real" girlfriend or just the "most real" girlfriend he has had ((read what you wrote)). You would be better off with a guy that has grown up already.

by **thacher** » Sat Jun 23, 2012 8:04 am

funny how even good people can act like idiots. You obviously see the give and take of the relationship and how both of you are acting pretty immature. Ask yourself if you are his first "real" girlfriend or just the "most real" girlfriend he has had ((read what you wrote)). You would be better off with a guy that has grown up already.

Hold on a moment, let me see if I get this straight...
-inhales-

So...
Your boyfriend broke up with you, and you're okay with that. Even went as far as removing him from most of your contacts.
Yet instead of moving on with your life and forgetting about him, you make a point of becoming more visible to him than you already are.

You made a point by deleting him from you Facebook and twitter that you don't want to talk to him again, yet you're hoping that he'll somehow get the hint that you want him to say something to you?

Is my confusion on the right page, or are you just really bad with words and explaining things to others?

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