Why did she give up the kids?

[hewlett]

As a parent I find it difficult to understand how the mother gave up custody of our two kids. First, the forensic report tilted towards my favor, but still she could have fought it. She wanted to leave the house and live with her new beau and I gave her $10K. During that court hearing I mentioned my suspicions that the two of them should undergo a drug test. On the next hearing, she signed the custody papers right away even though I had changed the stipulations a lot towards my favor. She sees the kids every second weekend, and she wanted to see them twice during the weekdays for 3 hours. The thing that tilts in her favor is that I still pay her $100 a week, she pays no child support, she's maintained by her much richer BF and on the next court hearing she's going to ask for more alimony even though I have official custody of the two children. Right now I'm going through the arduous task of gathering all the receipts for the last year and a half at which time she was traveling overseas with another BF (120 days) and our son was undergoing chemo therapy. She doesn't work, as far as I know because she's an "artist" (this is what she stated as her work in court), without any income. If she had gotten custody, she would have received 25% of my salary, which could be considered a decent annual income for some people. So far I have spent over $40K for litigation, forensics, law guardian, uninsured cancer treatments and plus all the other living expenses. I feel harassed all the time, not only because I work full time, take care of the kids and the household, but also all this work for the discoveries. Last weekend she refused to take our daughter to the dentist because it was her "weekend" so I took her with the intervention of the law guardian (the next appointment would have been 5-6 weeks away). In the mean time she lives in a much bigger house than we do, has lots of leisure time and has created an erratic pattern with her visitation rights especially during the weekdays. Can some of you offer some suggestions of what is going on here? I know that I should know, but sometimes looking from the outside one can see things much clearer!! How can I go on the offensive concerning financial matters? So far, I have not asked for child support,we live in a much smaller apartment and I want to move out so that the kids have more space. If she gets more alimony and a huge chuck from the discoveries it would be impossible. Looking towards the future, who's going to pay for everything but me? College tuition, insurance, travel etc.. How can I combat this injustice? If it was the other way around, and I want to believe that I'll remain a feminist after all this, they would had shred me to pieces. I'd appreciate your comments--Thanks!

[koltin]

Susan Smith killed her children to be with her new boyfriend.
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Dads_House_Ed_Ctr/

[calvert]

She's not willing to fight. You seem to want custody and to make her life miserable, so instead of a lengthy, costly legal battle she's giving you what you want.

It's not rocket science.

[dasco]

Only she can answer that question for you, why she left her kids. You are going to have to ask her that. We are only hearing your side of the story not hers.

As for child support and the money, well someone correct me if im wrong the parent that does not look after the children full time or has custody of them HAS to pay child support. You should not be paying her, I think you need another lawyer

[felabeorbt]

It could be that maybe she is not maternal. Many women who are not maternal have children just to satisfy their spouses. If this is the case, she wouldn't have a problem giving the children to you. Why would she? She is once again happy being childless, just as she was before she met you and she is living it up with her current beau. She's loving life once again. You being paternal and women whose maternal cannot and will never understand this but it is very much true.