Dealing with hateful in-laws?

[lathrop]

My father-in-law and his wife hate me. My husband's father has always disliked me since the day we met. I've known my husband for 5 years and we've been married for 2. When his dad 1st met me, I had a few issues that I have dealt with and gotten over. I was in a stage of rebellion, unable to hold a job for more than a few months, drinking, partying and dressed Goth. At that point, we were just friends and nothing more. My husband got deployed to Iraq about a yr and a half after we met. When he came home, he had a brain injury and ended up staying with me and my roommate because of issues with his now ex-stepmother. We decided to move from friendship to being a couple under the condition that I stopped partying, got sober and found a good job. I did all that, as well as taking out my body jewelry and changing my wardrobe. I thought that would have appeased his dad, but it hasn't. I ended up losing my job because of my husband's injury, but we were doing fine still. At this point, in comes the new stepmother. She is only 10 years older than me, and is always trying to play mommy with my husband. She has a lot of mental issues such as personality disorders, OCD, and schizophrenia. She was in a psych ward when they met (his dad worked there). Since she arrived on the scene, they have done everything in their power to turn my husband against me, even resorting to putting ideas in his head that I hadn't been working because I wanted to take his money, house, car, etc. This happened while my husband was recovering from the injury and the medication was not regulated, so he was easily swayed. During this year of not working, we separated 3 times because of his family's lies. Now we have a restraining order against the stepmother because she got angry and made a scene on our front lawn threatening me and yelling obscenities. His father had said he would be a witness for us in court and then turned around and hid her to prevent her from being served and stood in court telling lies about me and saying my husband is not competent. It's been almost 3 months since we filed the order, 1 month since it was made permanent and his father has been calling pretty much everyday to my husband's phone and my husband never picks up. Now he's showed up on our doorstep twice this week and my husband told him the 1st time that he doesn't want to talk and wants to be left alone. I'm really tired of all this drama and don't know what to do. My family is very close and I've never dealt with this kind of dysfunction before....I just need advise, or to know that I'm not the only one who is going through this. Thanks.

[danil70]

Don't spend time with them...leave the drama where it lies. Also, it would be best to move away and put a little distance between all of you.

My husband's family is major dysfunction...we don't spend much time with them at all.

[iden]

Don't have any contact with them. Eventually they will get tired and move on. Some inlaws just never get better with time, so do what you can to keep a sane household.