Future mother-in-law too much?

[yago]

Me and my fiance are both 29 years old. We are both professionals with stable careers. We both are financially stable, good people with mature views in life. Here's my problem and I need to know if this is me or if I should be concerned. He is a great guy respects me, loves me my family everything. The problem is his mother. I know that in- laws intruding is also a cause for divorce. So this is the problem. A his mom keeps asking him about our sex life if we've slept together or not and tells him not to. She's even gone so far to show up at his house in the middle of the night to ensure I'm not sleeping there. After we got engaged, she was trying to convince him to wait 2 or 3 more years to get married saying we weren't dating long enough we've been dating for 4 years and again we are both 29 turning 30 this year. Have no problems in our relationship. I always respect her in fact she doesn't even realize I know any of this. She guilts him into doing what she says because if he talks back she says he's disrespecting her. Is it just me or is that highly abnormal for her to be telling her grown son not to have sex. What do I do. Do I tell him to stop and grow up. Her new thing is now she wants us to purchase a house closer to her down the streeet. If it was a normal mother-in-law that could cause problems but with her I see it even a bigger problem. Her husband which is his father doesn't get involved and he's even tried to get her to back off but it doesn't work. I think the only one that could fix this problem is my fiance to tell her nicely to but out we are grown ups. Please understand if she was getting in the middle a little bit for little things I could even let it go. I'm not being a bratty bridzilla, I am actually laid back.

[oded]

Reading your story I felt as if time went backward.

Married the guy who was the world to me. He was understanding, loving and as close to perfection as possible for me. We did everything together.

Then we moved about 5 blocks from his parents. My monster-in-law was in my home almost every day. She went through our closets, told us when to cut the grass and informed my husband (who was in law enforcement, mind you) he constantly needed hair cuts.

Long story short. After countless discussions and 5 very long years, I discovered something. My husband was a son first and a husband second. I felt as if he loved his mother more than he could ever love me. Even though I physically left, emotionally he left me long before. I found I loved him more than he loved me. That may work for some but it didn't for me.

Your fiance' needs to cut the umbilical cord before he puts on the wedding ring. I'm speaking from experience. You won't be able to take it very long.

[oakley]

You're doomed and you know it. If your 29 year old fiancee hasn't stood up to her yet, he's not going to change for you.

Now the father in law sounds like a sensible fellow. Perhaps you could follow his lead and just ignore the old bat.,