What should I do about my future mother-in-law?

by **broehain61** » Thu Aug 02, 2012 6:46 am

I am 23 years old and I am engaged to a wonderful 25 year old man. He and I met when I was only 17 and carried on a long distance relationship until 2 years ago when he moved across the country to be with me. We have had problems before but nothing like his mother. She decided well before she met me that she didn't like me. She told everybody that a psychic told her that I was going to trap her son in the relationship with a baby and that he was going to be unhappy. This can't be true since I am not able to have children due to a medical condition.

His mother has a very close relationship with his ex girlfriend. The ex even lived with his mother for a few years and calls his mother Momma. My fiance hates it and feels like his mother loves his ex more than him. His ex is even in a relationship with my fiance's cousin and had a baby with him.
When I first met his mother he asked her to not mention the ex so much because he didn't want me to feel like I was being compared to her. She said she understood and that she would tone it down, but when we got to her house, which was 8 hours away so we had to stay the week there, she had a framed picture of the ex over the bed we were going to sleep in. things got worse from there. She constantly talked about her and even gave me a speech about how important the ex was to the whole family.

After that we waited a whole year to visit again and hoped that our second trip would be better, it was worse. This time we told her about my fertility issues and how I was depressed by it hoping she would drop the psychic thing. She responded by having me babysit the ex's baby. She has called me a fat ***** and has told me to **** off for no reason. Just because my fiance and I do not believe her stories about the psychic. She has convinced his whole family that I am untrustworthy even though I have never lied to them. And I have caught the mother and the ex talking about me.

I am looking for advice. My fiance and his mother have not talked in 3 months but I don't want to be the reason he doesn't talk to his family. I am broken up about this

by **tahmelapachme33** » Thu Aug 02, 2012 6:48 am

Try having a serious talk with her. Make her understand. Also ask her why she believes you are a *****. If she can't come up with a good reason then you know she's just being difficult. Never respond with anger because she'll probably use it as a reason she hates you.

Did you know there's a phobia called pentheraphobia that means fear of mother-in-law?

by **croslea** » Thu Aug 02, 2012 6:55 am

Ignore the old hag.

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by **adaya** » Thu Aug 02, 2012 7:00 am

I was in that situation. I married my husband and we had 31 wonderful years together before he passed away. His mother is rotten to the core. It is not your fault that he won't speak to her, he knows what she is and has made that decision him self. Talk to him and tell him how you feel about that. He will reassure you that it's not your fault. If you choose to marry this man this will not go away until she does (if you get my drift.) So, if you love him and he loves you go for it. I think the psychic was seeing the x girlfriend (lol)

by **pete** » Thu Aug 02, 2012 7:06 am

You cannot choose the family you are born into. You do however get to choose the family you make for the future. If he's a strong man and truly cares about you and is aware of how his family is being then him removing himself from their life may be necessary. They have shown you what to expect. You've been strong together this far. Be strong and move forward without them.

by **pete** » Thu Aug 02, 2012 7:08 am

The old saying goes "You can choose your friends, but not your relatives"

Your future in law could be a bit of an outlaw, but it is your Fiance' is important to you.
Since your future "IN LAW" is a long distance from you, she will be unable to control anything, and that is probably the bottom line. She has some control over the ex, but have to say she is very cruel by throwing the EX and child at you.

Your fiance' can if he wishes, go on to ignore his mother, until she can accept you. By her reported record, she is unlikely to change, but only time will tell.

At the end of the day, so long as you and your fiance' are happy, nothing else matters. Those that don't like you. TOUGH !

by **aenedleah10** » Thu Aug 02, 2012 7:22 am

She sounds like a big nut. If your boyfriend is supportive and understands what a crazy bat she is, then let it go. Everyone else likely has her number anyway.

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