How do I stand up to my mother in law?

[chika]

So my boyfriend and I are parents of twins living in efficiency at his aunts. Since we aren't the wealthiest ppl we receive benefits. Including food stamps, his mother lives with his sister and sisters kids which also receive benefits. Now his mother has the nerve to come ask me every month for my food stamp card so she can buy groceries for her household! Ummm Im not selfish but those are my benefits! & your daughter gets her own! But how do I tell her w/ o bein any trouble? Other than that his family always ask us to lend them money, idk if they don't realize we are parents of twins and don't have muchmoney!!!!!!!! Help me idk what to do with this gold digging family!!!! My boyfriend is dumb and does what they say.

[yago]

You just tell her they are your benefits, if she needs some go sign up and get her own. If her daughter has them when then they need to spread them out to last longer.

[artzai]

Just tell her! You don't have to be rude, just tell her I'm sorry we don't have much money right now I can't afford to keep giving you my food stamps, I need that to feed my kids, whatever. And don't give out money to his family. Once again you don't have to be rude just tell them your funds are already short you can't afford to be giving out money whenever you please.

Talk to you boyfriend about it to! It won't help at all if you're standing up to everyone and telling them no and he's turning around and passing out all your money! He needs to be backing you up on this issue.

[seager]

First of all, sit your boyfriend down and make it very, very clear that any financial decisions need to be made between the two of you. He should never decide to give money away to anyone while his own family is on benefits. You guys clearly cannot afford to give money away.

When his mother asks for food stamps, simply say, "I'm sorry, I wish we could help you, but we can't spare anything. We have kids." If she continues to ask, say "no." Maybe you should ask HER for money?

Do not let yourself be shamed into giving money away. Your boyfriend's family should be ashamed for asking. Say "no," no matter what they say. Do not feel guilty. You have kids and you need to look after them first.

If your boyfriend is giving your family's money away and you guys are on benefits, then your problem is 100% with him, not the in-laws. You need to sit down with him and talk this out. He needs to take care of his children before anyone else. When you guys are off benefits, THEN help others.

Good luck.

[taillefer]

In order to stand up to your mother and law, you must stand up off of your LazyBoy Chair for once in your life. It seems difficult because you weigh 300 lbs, but it is possible. You just need to eat your excess stomach fat and then you will be able to almost stand up.