I need serious help with my book idea?

[roche]

The main character is a fat 14 year old boy with sage green eyes. He has curly auburn hair and soft, lightly tanned skin. He smells like smoke and walks with a limp. He is a very inappropriate boy, he is very lazy, untrustworthy against family and friends, selfish, but is very optimistic, and is very influenced by others.
When his family moves from the coastal town of Ocean City, of which his family always lived. He would always miss the beach vacations and summer days of watery fun. His parents gave him a wolf’s tooth for him to get excited about where they would soon live. When they moved there he fell in love with the area and his tooth becomes his prize possession. Through the rest of elementary and middle school he got straight A’s. The laws of the town were to stay away from impurities. No one ever realized he would get into this. His parents thought sending him to a better school in the next town over would help him achieve even more. He has always been the model student, that’s why when he got into the bad crowd the town leaders tried to turn the other cheek.
Within one month of attending his new high school in the neighboring city, he begins to hang out with a bad crowd. He starts losing his good grades and he takes up drugs. His family find out and become very concerned in his health. They send him to a rehab camp. In two months more he comes home drug free. But he has joined an out of town gang. In the four days he has been back his gang has stabbed two innocent bystanders and robbed a local bakery. In an argument with the gang he got shot in the leg and walks with a limp. The boy soon realizes this USN‘t the right kind of life, but it‘s too late. He has already made a horrible impression of himself to the town. The town decides to have a meeting about the troubles they have had with him. Where he gets not only banned from the town and to be sent out alone wearing only the clothes that he was wearing, but also hunted down like an animal. Before the meeting, his whole family was brutally murdered, but when everyone finds he was’t there and was actually enjoying quiet night at the lake, they ban him from the town. Once he got going to leave he figured out that he was being hunted down for a reward. He decides he will go to his old town. Once he makes it out of the state, barely, he meets a girl who was allegedly running away from her home too. She actually is working with the man who killed his family and is after him. She starts talking to the boy and figures out that he has a big soft side and that she has made a mistake. She plans to turn him into the man but she falls in love with him. The night she tries to warn him that the murderer is coming for him, she tells him run away fast in the other direction away from where the murder is coming. At first he is angry with her for lying to him, but sees she is trying to now save him. Although, he doesn't trust her and ditches her. He makes it about a quarter mile from the beach. Suddenly he hears a gun shot nearby, startled he tries to run but trips getting up from where he sat down to rest. He falls over a rocky cliff and getting up and turning to see where the noise came from. Noticing too late he falls on the rocks below and lands painfully, breaking his arm and both hands. He survived the fall, but when he landed on his chest the sharp wolf's tooth jabbed into his chest. He slowly and painfully bled out as his heart pumped dark red blood onto the boulders and he died alone, at the desolate beach, of his family’s old ocean vacation spot.

Tell me what you think and how i can fix it thank you

[aswynn81]

Well, first of all, I really wouldn't put that much information about a book on the internet. It is sure to be stolen, so after reading this answer I really would delete this question. But yeah, first of all, I really wouldn't kill of the main characters to the story because that creates a huuuuge disappointing story and makes it look like you just killed off your characters to meet an author deadline. I know this story is supposed to seem all sad and dark, but I think you should at least have one good thing in it. His family is brutally murdered after all. If you want to flesh out this story I suggest reading stories like it and taking ideas from other writers and their writing styles. If you wish to talk more, feel free to add me on Skype: Charmanderx33 or MSN: [email protected] :) Being a fellow writer I think we could both learn a lot from each other and I'd be very happy to help you out, give you tips and give you a few read throughs and extra thoughts on your work. After all, I find it very helpful when people give me pointers on my own writing. Hope this helps! :) Charlotte xx