What do you think of my book idea?

by **otis** » Thu Aug 02, 2012 1:22 pm

Hello!

Please tell me what you think honestly baring in mind I'm only a 14-year-old girl. Its a dystopian fiction set in the future hence the curious names.

My main characters name is Skylark 'Lark' Knight, she is a feisty and defiant 16-year-old girl. She has 4 siblings - her 19 year-old sister Magpie 'Maggie', her 17-year-old brother Falcon 'Falco', and six year old twins Rook (boy) and Dove (girl).
Yeah, they're all birds my idea is that their Dad named them after which ever bird he first saw on his way home from war. He was first a dog keeper for the army but was recruited as a solider. The reason he names them after birds is because birds are so free and he wishes for his children to be as free as them. But they live in a place called the Alpha sector.
Some laws in the Alpha Sector -
A girl at the age of 16 is chosen by a boy of eighteen as a wife regardless of the girl or boys protest.(the girls are literally line up like a cattle auction and the boys have to pick one -the one highest in ranks or army test scores gets first pick and so on)
If you take a serious illness or are born with one or a defect you are executed to better the gene pool and prevent the spread of disease contagiously or by genetics.
At the age of sixteen the boys are sent to one year on the front line and are allowed to either join the army after taking a wife or take another job - noting that they can be recruited against their will at any given time.
(Yeah its evil but the other sectors are worse as if you are ill or with a defect the take you to test drugs and torture methods and mutations on. Even if you're a minor)
When Skylark's Dad is first sent away to war he comes back and starts a quiet rebel group but then out of the blue he is recruited and he is 'killed in action' as the government tell his family. Falco returns and tells Lark about the rebel group and that their Dad and Anthony Baneberry (Magpies husband)'s death was a warning to the rebels.
The day after Falco returns is the day Lark is lined up to be chosen by as a wife. Lark is picked by Lt. Flynt Griswolf. Flynt shows no emotion and seems not to care about anything but really its just because he's been repeatedly told by his father that if people can see how you feel that they'll manipulate it to their advantage. She despises him as from her Dads death a new and more wild hatred for the army has been lit inside her. That's why Flynt picks her - she has a fierceness in her eyes like she hasn't given up hope of something.
Skylark and Falco and some other rebel friends come up with a plan to escape the Alpha sector with their family but they fail because Flynt tells his father the General about it as he overhears them discussing it. Later Flynt tells Lark that he did it because if they escaped they would be hunted down and killed whereas if they didn't go they would only be punished. Lark decides to start another rebellion and attempts to overthrow the government as both revenge for her father and freedom for the people when she realizes that its not enough for her family to be free because there will still be suffering.

by **starling** » Thu Aug 02, 2012 1:25 pm

I see dead people.

by **curney13** » Thu Aug 02, 2012 1:42 pm

You have done an excellent job of providing more than just a vague outline - You sound quite mature and if this is all your original idea, good for you... of course, writing a book takes an enormous amount of work but if you are into it - go for it...

by **gwen** » Thu Aug 02, 2012 1:45 pm

I think it is amazing, seriously, although it's not typically the genre I usually read, I would for sure give this book a try, or at least suggest it to my fantasy loving friends.
The story is great, original, and you better get it published! :P

by **gerard** » Thu Aug 02, 2012 1:55 pm

Wow, I really like the names thing. The bird idea is cool. One thing though, Falco is the name of a character in Starfox. You might want to swap Falco for Crow or Heron maybe... Just a little comment :)

Secondly, I really like the idea of the wives thing. It's pretty cool
I would definatly read this

Could you answer my question please?
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AqmZ9s4XQBn2fklCKIIezNzty6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20120802034346AA12du5

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