I was invited to a family wedding but not to the bridal shower?

by **bedyw25** » Fri Apr 06, 2012 6:17 pm

My bro in law is having a small wedding. Only family members and their spouses,children and parents are invited. I am the only female in the family that was invited to the wedding but not to the bridal shower. I only found out about the shower by accident. I feel hurt and excluded. Am I being overly sensitive? Does this mean I am not obigated to buy them a gift?

by **khalid** » Fri Apr 06, 2012 6:18 pm

Shower gifts and wedding gifts are separate issues.
You may not be considered "close" to the bride to be, thus not invited to the shower. That's about normal.
Gifts are always elective. You may donate gifts as you feel comfortable.
Sorry you feel left out.

by **charlot22** » Fri Apr 06, 2012 6:25 pm

A shower gift is not the same as the wedding gift. Not everyone invited to the wedding is invited to the shower. It's the other way around - anyone invited to the shower must be invited to the wedding. Guests at a bridal shower are family and friend close to the bride. If you're not close to the bride, there's no reason for you to be invited. You are related to her fiance by marriage and not related to her at all.

You are being overly sensitive. You should get them a wedding gift. But you don't have to get a shower gift. They are two separate events.

by **erwin** » Fri Apr 06, 2012 6:29 pm

Yes, you are being overly sensitive.
Showers are boring and silly.

Enjoy the wedding and send a gift to the brides home .

by **dasco** » Fri Apr 06, 2012 6:38 pm

Make sure you were not invited. I hosted a bridal shower and a group of 8 ladies did not receive their invitations! They found out about it when another of our friends called about directions. Sometimes mail gets lost!

by **wakeley58** » Fri Apr 06, 2012 6:40 pm

that seems strange you are not invited
you are going to be her sister-in-law
but any ways i would give them a wedding gift

by **patwin87** » Fri Apr 06, 2012 6:47 pm

Consider yourself fortunate as yes you have to bring a gift to a shower IF you are invited. So now you do not have to and only have to give a wedding gift. Unless you like watching people open gifts, showers are boring I think. Try to not make an issue of it as it and dont take it personally.

by **culley96** » Fri Apr 06, 2012 6:48 pm

I think you've got your priorities a little skewed. Personally, I'd be more disappointed about being invited to the shower and not the wedding.

You're not obligated to give a gift for an event you're not invited to, so it's completely up to you if you get a gift for the shower.

by **adelphos** » Fri Apr 06, 2012 6:53 pm

I think you've got your priorities a little skewed. Personally, I'd be more disappointed about being invited to the shower and not the wedding.

You're not obligated to give a gift for an event you're not invited to, so it's completely up to you if you get a gift for the shower.

Who cares? You got to save some money by not buying two presents.

You are never obligated to buy a gift, but if you give the couple nothing because you feel snubbed at not going to the shower, that's not polite.

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