Please help me decide what to do,my sister is leaving in the morning?

by **lifton** » Fri Dec 16, 2011 4:25 am

What should I do? Please help me.?
Me and my sister married brothers about 7 years ago. I am 26 years old and my sister is 24 years old. She has a 15 month old baby. They travel around every 6 months to a year with her husbands job. I have separated from my husband recently, who is my my sisters husbands brother. When I left my husband I left because he had hit me and we werent getting along and I was unhappy. When I left Texas, I left a great job behind me. To make a long story short, I found out my husband had told horrible lies out whole marriage and kept me cut off from my family and cheated on me, emotionally and mentally and physically abused me. I found all this out after I left, because I had never really left my husband, I love him so much and yet I cant be with him because he is this compulsive liar. I feel like I have lived with a stranger for 10 years. So as you can imagine it is scary starting over and being back and mom and dads. My dad is retired and my mom is also retired. I have been here since nov 5 and im bored, i sleep alot and its a small town in mississippi. Very hard to find a job. My sister is down for thanksgiving and she invited me to come to north carolina with her, since my sister has been here my mind has not been on my husband and i have not been so depressed. but i have to think about her husband who is my husbands brother. now he knows his brother has problems and is basically "crazy". he said he wants me to come but yet he doesnt want to hurt his brothers feelings. I dont know what to do. do i stay here with my mom and dad and keep looking for a job and being bored, not knowing anyone. or should i go with my sister and be with her and her son and look for a job. im not use to making decisions like this, my husband always made it for me. my brother in law says he wants me to come, but his brother, my husband has already asked to come and he said no, but that it would be good for his wife to have family around. my question is what do i do????i am so confused...and also my husband refuses to admit he has done anything wrong....he blames me as usual..so there is no working it out with him

by **oakley** » Fri Dec 16, 2011 4:28 am

It's time for you to be on your own. Where in the states would you love to live? Pick an area and submit your resumes to companies. Then move. Go out on your own. You're a big girl, you can do it. Don't make the mistake of having someone else provide for you. You only have 1 life, make your dreams happen. And, have no regrets.

by **celeste** » Fri Dec 16, 2011 4:33 am

Go back with your sister, and give yourself a time frame to get back on your feet, with a job and an apartment. If you haven't gotten on your own by the deadline, go back to your parents and try there.

by **gerard** » Fri Dec 16, 2011 4:49 am

Seems backwoods, redneck you'd marry your sisteres husbands brother.

Just saying.

Your husbands a prick, go find someone new somewhere new. Dont stay around where theres too much pain.

by **crom** » Fri Dec 16, 2011 4:59 am

Seems backwoods, redneck you'd marry your sisteres husbands brother.

Just saying.

Your husbands a prick, go find someone new somewhere new. Dont stay around where theres too much pain.

you go

the answer about it being good for your sister to have family around is perfectly plausible
and you have to do something
you are stagnating just now
go with your sister
try a fresh start
and should it not come together, your parents will always welcome you back
but at leats you tried, and at least you would know

by **wilbart** » Fri Dec 16, 2011 5:04 am

Seems backwoods, redneck you'd marry your sisteres husbands brother.

Just saying.

Your husbands a prick, go find someone new somewhere new. Dont stay around where theres too much pain.

you go

the answer about it being good for your sister to have family around is perfectly plausible
and you have to do something
you are stagnating just now
go with your sister
try a fresh start
and should it not come together, your parents will always welcome you back
but at leats you tried, and at least you would know

Dont get involved in your sisters marriage, you can cause problems. I suggest you do move but on your own, maybe leave your kids with your parents for a while, or find a really small place for you guys where the job market is better. Also, living in your parents house will not motivate you to do better because you know you can stay there forever. Do moving out on your own will help motivate you a bit.

by **stanciyf** » Fri Dec 16, 2011 5:09 am

you are 26...young! why don't you take some time to focus on yourself and figure out exactly who you are and what you want out of life. here's a wild idea for you...you probably won't like it, but I'll throw it out there anyway...
maybe move down to Gulfport or Biloxi and get a job in one of the casinos. you can make more than enough money to support yourself and some of the jobs are really secure and come with great benefits. another cool thing is you can switch jobs inside a casino every 3 months, there's about a million things you can do and lots of room for advancement. I worked at IP (imperial palace) down there for about a year when I was 21 and I Loved it. and I was Never lonely...my co-workers were awesome and I made a lot of friends. it was a fun job, a great place to work and was Great financially. (i made at least $1000 every week) if you were interested in that, it could give you a chance to really focus on you and enjoy life again.

by **ealahweemah72** » Fri Dec 16, 2011 5:17 am

Everything happens for a reason! You should go and test out the waters in Noth Carlolina, Hell who knows theres alot of hansome men in Noth C. Go for it! It may be the best thing you've ever done! I heard there are alot of job oppertunities there if I had money and somewhere to live I would go too! Hang in there and stop worrying about what will be and live your life today because tomarrow may never come! Get off the ride to hell and step into your bran new life baby cause you're going to have a good life you're going to meet someoine new! You will get a job and you will be happy! Go on Girl you'r mama will be fine you've got a life to live and you aint going to if you keep letting your ex husband or your mom holding you back making you feel bad! You only live life once!

by **geol19** » Fri Dec 16, 2011 5:35 am

I think you should stay right where you are. I also think that you feel the same way. It's too soon for you to be anywhere near your brother in law. Anything you say will be used against you later on. Just keep clear for now until you have a clear idea of what you want to do later on. Good Luck.

by **delron72** » Fri Dec 16, 2011 5:47 am

Honey, comes a time in your life when you have to do what best for YOU. You cannot be a "people pleaser" & let yourself be second. I feel it just may do you good to get away from "mom & dad" & get out of that small town. Go somewhere where you know you'll have a better chance of a job, make more money, & in the long run would be able to make it on your own some day. Time to cut the ties & go on your own & do what YOU FEEL is the BEST for YOU. I also live w/a husband much like yours. Had ALL the SAME things done to me too. So I KNOW what kind of a life you've lived. Now it's YOUR turn to make a life of your own. Things do happen for reasons, I'm a firm believer in that, we may not know the reasons at the moment, but things do fall in place. You weren't w/the rite husband to begin with, but there IS someone out there who WILL make you happy some day, someone who w/love you as you should be loved. You just have not met him yet, but you will. You WILL have a better life in your future if you're willing to take some chances. We all have to do what we feel is best for us at times which some may feel we're being selfish. But we know in our hearts what is best for US, what we need & don't need. I honestly would suggest you do go w/your sister. At least you do get along well w/her,which is a plus to begin with, so go with faith in your heart that you're going for bigger better things for yourself as you do deserve it. Your motives are rite, your reasons are rite, so GO FOR IT & I don't feel you'll regret it. IF by chance you find you've made a mistake, you always can go back, that's one thing you know for sure. So take this leap of faith & see what you can do for yourself. You no doubt would be a big help for your sister & her baby too. It would give you a chance to get to know them better. Try to forget the "brother thing" w/her husband. We all know no two people are alike, & he's no doubt like nite & day from your husband. I'd say to go & I DO wish you all the best..:)

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