What can i do about being very stressed out now days?

[culley96]

im not on speaking terms with my parents because they were very disrespectful towards my husband and my in-laws and very inconsiderate of me. My parents don't help me with any thing i do every thing myself.

I had an argument with y husband recently, he is supportive and gets over it which is nice but im still kind of having some issues.

I argued over feeling miserable, stressed and tired, and having no quality time spent having a nice time, enjoying myself/ ourselves and wasting time on the wrong things.

My husband and i spend a lot of time together. We both are not very social and usually our social time revolve around our families. Whom i am a bit sick and tired of right now.
We don't see our friends much, we share the same friends.

Im sick of our families; even my husbands family. I know they do care about him and he does care about them and they live in pakistan while we have a life in london.

They call 4 times a week some times for 4 hours to talk to him.
I do everything i am suppose to. I spend very wisely, i like to feel good about taking care of my responsibilities but i felt my husband wasn't making any efforts towards a better life style for us.

When we argued i asked my husband to cut down the family phone calls to twice a week at max. He agreed. They get very involved and noisy about everything and they aren't always very pleasant with me which ends up making me feel concerned.

The rest of our time is spent by my husband being to tired, we both being too stressed. AND NOT ENOUGH TIME FOR ANYTHING. We don't have too much money to splash around either.
We are saving up for a house and our parents are very noisy about our money' but they do not help us with any thing at all... We help ourselves. Im the only one helping my husband....

I am tired and stressed up about being miserable, tired, stressed and bored.
I began grocery shopping online so it helps save our weekend spent grocery shopping.

But still my husband doesn't support me much with things i wat done, he isn't studying much at all when he should be. And he is always ill, weak, tired, we both are always stressed and miserable.

Stressed often about our families too.
I make a huge effort towards my inlaws so that i am accepted and their is a big age, language and cultural barrier but nobody bothers to make much effort towards pleasing me or making me happy.

I feel like im not leading my own life. And the time i want to spend with my husband and the life style i want us to have completely is not there. i feel like i have to live like my parents generation to please every body who isn't damned about pleasing me, and especially who do nothing for me.

Im stuck in this because of my husband. He is a bit selfish and very ignorant some times.
I can't find an easy way out because i don't really want to upset others; but i feel like even if i need the help or a f---- break NO BODY is really there for me. Infact i always feel like our families are just looking for excuses; both are looking for different excuses.

I do protect my husband because he is my priority and because i should. But i don't think he does the same for me at all or even bothers to take care of me much.

What should i do about this situation?

[lathrop]

Have patience. Please wait eagerly. Time will solve all such tough problems. Time is the best Healer.

[han]

I am having very similar problems! Of course, I don't know you or your husband but it does sound like you work as a unit but recently things have been getting a little tough and dragging you both down. The problem is, you only have each other to vent on!

What I did was (this is random and may not work for you) have a bath, walk, candle-lit dinner with your partner and calmly discuss the issues raised, work out a way you can both communicate and resolve these problems... everything always seems a little more calm and less stressful when the environment and atmosphere is peaceful and relaxing. It did me and my partner wonders, and we have stopped bickering and now understand each other a lot more!

As for the time alone thing: pamper yourself, go out for a walk, go shopping, catch up with friends, do whatever you enjoy and tell your husband that this day is very important to you! Switch off your phone and make it clear you need YOU time.

Next step: make a habit of doing something together, arrange a date and plan something. Whether it is indoors, outdoors, lazy, fun... there are so many things you could both do together! Google some ideas.

But about your families, do not take any strangers advice hun. Talk to your husband about how to approach this issue and go from there! Make sure you agree and keep calm when you talk to each other, if you argue about it then the likeliness is it will not get solved! Good luck to you and sorry if I wasn't much help. I hope things look up for you soon!

[tim]

This may help:

http://www.wikihow.com/Reduce-Stress