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[culley96]

Ok so my bf has 3 sisters, he is the oldest, I don't have a problem with his other 2 sisters at all they are very nice, but he has one sister who is 1 yr younger than him so they are really close. It's not that I don't get along with her because she is nice, but I get the impression that she is one of those people who use others to her convenience an that has caused me to feel some type of way towards her. Like she will say things like, oh if your going to walmart you better not go without me and if I go without her, she will make a sarcastic comment.  She has a 2 yr old dtr who practically lives at my in laws house because apparently it's difficult to run errands with her. What gets on my nerves is that she will take her to the parents house finishes what she is doing and instead of going to her parents to pick her up, she will go home and suddenly "conveniently" it's too late to pick her up. Then the poor parents who want a break from the little girl (who by the way is not the best behaved) have to go to take her home, or they start calling the other siblings (my BF) to take her home. she will come to our house, stay til It's like 1:00am (knowing she doesn't have a car) and demand, not ask for my bf to drive her home, what gets me upset is that usually it's a Sat and my bf has been drinking a couple of beers, and we don't have a car seat for her 2 yr old, so he shouldn't even be driving her. Want to know the best part about this all, we all live within a 10 block radius ... There's so much more but you could already get the pic of what I mean  when I say she likes to use people, what's gets me angry is that, the family complains about her but don't tell her about herself. Now the situation is that we have a 7 month old son  who has been going to a great sitter , we pay her $130 a week , but my bf business ( he owns a computer repair store)has been really slow and we are barely making it to pay bills, his sister has recently lost her job so he is suggesting for her to take care of my son , but my thing is that she really has not proven herself to be the greatest mom to her own child , how am I going to trust her with my baby .. Then my bf has made a comment like oh since u don't want my sister to touch the baby, its not that I don't want her to touch him  its not that , I just for some reason do not feel comfortable, I am a very friendly person,  and its like I HATE her , but I don't feel comfortable at all .. I don't know y .. Am I overreacting???

[ear]

nope!

I think she is using you...

tell your bf...

talk to him slowly and I he'll understand.

...you have a lot of things in your mind!

take it easy!

talk to your bf sister!

not that sure if she'll understand...

but talk kindly and act like you are meaning it

[gall]

You aren't overreacting at all- I would want to get them out of my life too.

I am deeply concerned about her 2 year old daughter- she needs to have a properly installed car seat when traveling in a moving vehicle.

Car crashes are the leading cause of death for children under 12 years of age. If I remember correctly 1/3 of those deaths were due to not even using a car seat- she needs to be in a child safety restraint (preferably a rear facing restraint).

[rushford79]

When it comes to the health and safety of your baby there is no such thing as overreacting. We all have instincts for a reason and if you really feel that your child would not be safe with this woman, then don't ignore the feeling. You shouldn't feel guilty about not wanting your child to be cared for by someone who can't be trusted. To tell the truth, it doesn't seem like your boyfriend is firing on all cylinders either. (I'm sure I don't need to tell you that it is NEVER ok to drive when you've been drinking, let alone to do so with a child in the car, and with no car seat.) But, I digress. If you really don't want her watching your kid, then you need to put your foot down. Have a talk with your boyfrend and let him know exactly WHY you don't want his sister looking after your baby. Tell him that you feel that since she is incapable of even caring for her own child, you are hesitant to believe that she will be able to care for yours, who, at seven months is even younger and more dependent on others than a two year old. I myself have always been uneasy about leaving children with someone who has no car. If there were an emergency, how would the care giver be able to get the child to a hospital or or other facility? (This may not be bothersome to you, but it's something I always think about) If you have a rational discussion with your boyfriend, he may see your side of things and agree that his sister is not a suitable caregiver. Then again, he may not. Even if he doesn't, it's still your job to advocate for your baby's well being. Do NOT let him pressure you into making a decision that you are not comfortable with. As far as the sister's behavior toward you, your boyfriend and other family members, there is not much you can do. If they are not willing to stand up for themselves regarding how she treats them, that is their problem, not yours. Her behavior toward you is not just going to stop on it's own. You need to tell her that your life does not revolve around her schedule. If she dosn't like what time you do XYZ, then she she doesn't have to be a part of it, but you will not tolerate her rude comments.Her coming over to your house (As I understand it, it's bother the sister and her child coming and staying, correct?) and staying at all hours of the night does not effect just your boyfriend, it effects you and your baby too. If you feel the situation needs to be addressed, then do so in no uncertain terms. Sit down and have a calm, but firm talk with her and tell her point blank what you expect. Tell her you don't want her (or her child) in your house past a certain time. Tell her that getting rides from her brother is ok now and then, but that there will be no "demanding" of anything and that if she intends to come over, then she will need a way to get back home on her own. I realize that in order for much of this to actually work, you will need a lot of support and back-up from your boyfriend. If, when you speak to your boyfriend, he is unsupportive or unwilling to compromise on anything, especially when it comes to the well-being of your baby, then it may be time to re-evaluate your relationship. I hope this helped and good luck with everything.