Guest paying their own meals at a wedding, how do you write that on an invitation?

[ricki]

You can't do that. If you can't afford meals, you have a reception that doesn't require meals, like an afternoon cake and punch.

"And no, we cannot just not have a proper meal and just have cake and coffee, that is not an option with our families."

You are wrong, wrong wrong.

You are growns-ups with a child. You have to be adult enough to tell your family "Sorry, we know you wish we'd have a big fancy reception, but we can't afford that, so we are going to be responsible adults, and have a reception we can afford".

That's what grown-ups do.

you can't
also if people get this invitation,only your immediate family will make it

there is no way to justify it

[tiernan]

Nobody's got a gun to your head to force you to have a wedding.

If you can't afford a wedding, then you either put off the marriage until you can afford what you want, or you get married at the courthouse now and accept that that's your one and only wedding.

There's no way in hell that your fiance allows you guys to "live comfortably" if you live with his parents and are throwing a wedding that you can't even afford.

If all you can afford is cake and coffee, then that's what you serve. If someone complains about it then you shrug and say, "Well, sorry you feel that way, but this is what we can afford. If you feel that we should host a meal, I'd be more than happy to accept a check from you and then plan whatever kind of meal you'd like me to serve. Or if you want to pay for groceries and help me cook, we can host a little lunch at the house. But if we have to pay for it ourselves, then cake and coffee is what we can do."

Be an adult and either work for what you want or accept that you can't always get what you want. Inviting people to your wedding and then telling them to pay their own way is absolutely disgusting of you. No cutesy poem, verse, or saying is going to hide the fact that you're greedy and rude.

Set an example for your innocent child and do the right thing ... a pay-your-own-way is the absolute pinnacle of tackiness, rudeness, and entitlement, and by doing this you're only dragging this poor child deeper and deeper into this train wreck.

[leonie36]

Nobody's got a gun to your head to force you to have a wedding.

If you can't afford a wedding, then you either put off the marriage until you can afford what you want, or you get married at the courthouse now and accept that that's your one and only wedding.

There's no way in hell that your fiance allows you guys to "live comfortably" if you live with his parents and are throwing a wedding that you can't even afford.

If all you can afford is cake and coffee, then that's what you serve. If someone complains about it then you shrug and say, "Well, sorry you feel that way, but this is what we can afford. If you feel that we should host a meal, I'd be more than happy to accept a check from you and then plan whatever kind of meal you'd like me to serve. Or if you want to pay for groceries and help me cook, we can host a little lunch at the house. But if we have to pay for it ourselves, then cake and coffee is what we can do."

Be an adult and either work for what you want or accept that you can't always get what you want. Inviting people to your wedding and then telling them to pay their own way is absolutely disgusting of you. No cutesy poem, verse, or saying is going to hide the fact that you're greedy and rude.

Set an example for your innocent child and do the right thing ... a pay-your-own-way is the absolute pinnacle of tackiness, rudeness, and entitlement, and by doing this you're only dragging this poor child deeper and deeper into this train wreck.

If you "simply cannot afford to pay for everyone's meals" then you simply cannot afford a wedding.

[arne33]

If you can't afford it, change your plans. Seriously. If your families insist that you serve a full meal, THEY can pay for it. But NEVER, EVER ask guests to pay to attend your reception. This is simply not done, and you'll be trash talked for the rest of your days.

You have made a CHOICE to hold a reception you can't afford. Choose differently.

[jabarl]

Wait until you can afford to pay for it yourselves or have a smaller wedding. It's not acceptable to ask your guests to pay. Once a guest pays, they are no longer a guest- they are a customer.

[kendon19]

You don't. It's monstrously rude. If you can't afford a dinner for everyone, you don't have a dinner-- you have what you *can* afford-- maybe an afternoon tea. Yes, it is an option, and if anyone complains, you say, "I'm sorry, Aunt Ngaire, but we simply don't hve the money".

[yago]

Do NOT have a big wedding if you cannot afford it! Have a private wedding with only your immediate family there (siblings and parents). You can tell those relatives that instead of a gift they can simply pay for their own meals. But don't invite extended family and friends to a wedding they have to pay for! It would be considered rude and many people will RSVP no when they read they must pay for their own meals.

There is NO WAY to politely ask people to pay for their own meals at a wedding reception, on the invitations. Completely goes against etiquette to any party or reception to ask guests to pay for themselves.

[gofraidh34]

No way to do that . guests do not pay EVER.

[chen12]

I understand your situation and some of these people responding are downright rude. No it is not proper to ask someone to pay for a meal, but if someone in my family invited me to a wedding and said I had to pay I would still go (would I be mildly annoyed? yes, but I would still go and enjoy because they are family and they thought enough to invite me). etiquette is not that important where it would stop me from going to a family members wedding, especially a close family member fallen on hard times). I however would not write this on the invitation, instead I would call the person in advance and let them know the circumstances and if they still wanted to go I would then send them an invitation. Its really mind over matter.The people in your family who matter usually dont mind paying, and those who would mind paying usually dont matter.

[boyce]

You asked exactly the same question back in 2010. You could have changed the ages at the very least