How can I stop my sister and sister in law making me feel so depressed.?

[scirwode]

My sister and I have never got on, ever since I can remember she has been jealous of me and tried to compete with me. She is the black sheep of the family and is the bad girl, drink, drugs, sleeping around, fighting and always relationship problems. I have been happily married for 13 years and have become very interested in Christian religion over the past 10 years and live a decent, honest life. My sister hates this and tries to mock religion and take the piss of it, she always tries her best to be the favourite of the family by creating drama, trouble and has always thought she is my parents favourite child. My parents have been wonderful to me but my mother always tries to force me to talk and bother with my sister when I really dont want nothing to do with her. I dread christmas times and special occasions throughout the year where I have to come into contact with her. She has been a thorn in my side since I was born. The second problem I got is the sister in law, her marriage ended in divorce and she was left with two children who the father rarely has anything to do with. When she first got divorced, her and the children came to our house all the time and I gave them everything and really gave them alot of support. The sister inlaw used me for everything she could get, food, taking her places, buying the kids stuff and took advantage of my soft heart. As the years went by I got fed up of being used so slowly put a stop to her and the children visiting so much. Her son is a nightmare, a really horrible, cheeky, spoilt brat of a kid who beats the sister up all the time. He has never had a father figure in his life to sort his behaviour problems out and my sister in law just sits on her backside and lets him get away with everything. Anyway when I limited their visits, the sister in law turned against me and back stabbed me to my mother and father inlaw and basically turned them against me. She even turned the kids against me too. I have now become the black sheep of my inlaws family. I cannot do right for doing wrong and all I did was be kind to them and got kicked in the teeth. As a consequence the inlaws have little to do with me or my husband and favour the sister in law and the kids and they have paid for numerous holidays abroad for them and have even paid for her to go to university and get trained up for a highly paid job. She now has a high paid job and now as a new boyfriend. She looks down her nose at me because I am not working. I have a honours degree but cannot find work. She uses every flaw she can find to put me down and make herself look better and superior to me. I feel I cant win. I want both her and my sister out of my life altogether but I love my husband and love my family. Over time this has made me feel very depressed and unloved all because I showed kindness and showed them I wasnt a pushover. How can I live my life and not allow these people to put me down and make me feel depressed. How can I block them out of my mind and life, thanks?

[darvell]

Know that you can't decide how they act towards you. The best way you can respond to this is to just go on being pleasant to them and to not let their words affect you. They are probably just bitter about how some things didn't work out for them, and they may just be taking it out on you because they m
may see you at the place they would like to be. Keep being nice to them, while at the same time being fair on yourself and not letting yourself be pushed over. Try getting closer to them and making it work. If they come around to be nicer and all, great! But if they continue being bitter and mean, just let them be. You can't please everyone, and you can't spend your whole life trying to please others who keep trying to spot out flaws in you to make themselves feel better. Don't let their bitterness rub off on you and focus on spending time with pleasant people.