Is my family being rude and petty?

by **bachir93** » Mon Jun 04, 2012 9:57 pm

My sister is mad at me because I did not "take her side" in a situation. She's 28 and I'm 26 years old, and I think its childish to take sides. However, I believe that looking at everyones point of view is important. Heres the situation: My best friend decided to get in touch with my sister in law instead of my sister. My sister in law (which I don't have a problem with) told her that she didn't know if my sister was going to throw the bachelorette party for me or not. My sister called me and was going off about my sister in law and calling her a b**** so I tried to create a solution for the problem by saying that they did not have to throw the bachelorette party for me if it was going to be too stressful. Apparently my sister thought I was trying to take my sister in laws and best friends side by saying that. I don't see where I did that, I was just trying to create a solution. My sister is really mad that my best friend called our sister in law and not her. So First question: Was that a valid reason to be angry at someone???? In addition, my mom asked me about the situation and tried to mediate. But every time something is wrong and I try to give my side of the story my mom always brings my fiance into by saying "I don't know what that boy is saying to you". I expressed to her that its very disrespectful and she always says he has to earn her respect. I think this is very direspectful because my fiance has never done or said anything disrespectful to anyone in my family. Second question: How do I get my mom to see that bringing him into the conversation is not right?

by **delton** » Mon Jun 04, 2012 9:59 pm

Sounds like a good reason to elope.

by **osmont** » Mon Jun 04, 2012 10:07 pm

I would just tell them all that you don't want a bachelorette party now since now they are turning it into a game of popularity. Also just tell your mother that she should have enough respect for you to stop bringing your fiance into a conversation that has nothing to do with him. SHe doesn't have to respect him, but she should respect you.

by **beacher** » Mon Jun 04, 2012 10:10 pm

Oh my. No reason to get angry, your friend had a question, it didn't matter who she called. Your sister is being petty. And your mom needs to stop bringing your fiance into it, no reason, this is clearly a problem amongst women, mainly your sister and sister-in-law not getting along, trust me, I've been in that spot!

Tell your mom there are fights amongst family and there are fights amongst women. What could he possibly do? This is a womens problem my dear, and as a woman of older age, she knows better. If she was in your spot, would she bring her husband into it?

by **vaiveatoish** » Mon Jun 04, 2012 10:20 pm

Your mother doesn't like him for some reason. Problem 1 that you need to figure out.

The other situation is not worth the worry until you get the first problem solved.

by **broehain61** » Mon Jun 04, 2012 10:24 pm

When anyone mouths off like your sister did, it has nothing to do with who called who....she is just looking for an excuse to ***** about your sis-in-law....so you say ' I do NOT want to hear this." and refuse to listen/continue the conversation. Offer no solutions and take no sides except the one that states that you will NOT listen to Smack talk about anyone from anyone. Period.

As far as Mom you can respond with..." What do you mean by that? Has some one been spreading rumours? " or a simple "This has nothing to do with "Jerry ".....then point out who it has to do with

Stick to the facts and ask Mom up front what makes her say such a thing....challenge the statement and ask for her 'facts'.....when people have to explain why they made such a statement, they are less likely to put themselves on the spot again in future.....especially if they have no facts to back themselves up.

Ignore that remark about 'earning respect' unless you wish to say ' Respect is a TWO WAY STREET '.

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