Should I tell my new boyfriend about my abusive parents and how they are mentally unstable? or keep it secret?

[baigh75]

My whole life, I have kept my life a secret from people. Even my friends. I only have let very few of my best friends know what my life is really like. I just keep it under wraps because honestly I dont think my life has been THAT bad, even though yes I have been through a lot. I am currently seeing this guy at my college that I have been very close friends with for 4 months. We tell eachother everything. Im just afraid to tell him this stuff. Our relationship is new but very serious...so I feel like maybe i should tell him, since he is such a large part of my life. I think he doesnt think I am the sweetest person by the way I talk to my parents..

This is the info:

When I was a child, my father was my custodial parent from the time I was four years old. Unfortunately a big part of my childhood was living in fear of him from the time I was 3 years old, until I was about 13. He never interacted with me. He would just lock himself in his room with the covers over his head, and never ever talk to me. He only interacted with me to hit me (ie. shove me against the wall, grab my throat and shove food down forcefully, lock me in my room without a meals and take the light out, smack me in the head. etc. I was never good enough for him. He would make me do 100 math problems a day in elementary school, and read 8 grade levels above me in kindergarten. He was always so angry. He has been terminally ill with kidney failure since i was six years old. He has been living off dialysis since i was ten (we have a dialysis room at home). Since April, he had been in and out of the hospital because there were more complications in his body due to his 40 lb kidney (they finally removed it in september). When i would call him to ask how he was doing, he would be like "why the hell are you calling me?" i never even visited him in the hospital, because he has never allowed me too....

My mother left us when I was four, because she came out of the closet as a lesbian (i kept her sexuality a secret up until this year actually). She moved halfway across the country when i was little (7 years old) to be with her Australian girlfriend.(she moved to DC with her a year after she had breast cancer----she had it when I was six years old---) She has been back home for a long time now, but lives with my grandparents cuz she cant live on her own mentally. She needs guidance. But she could never deal with having a child--me---. So she hasnt really been there). I just turn to my extended family (cousins and stuff), because honestly they feel more like parents to me than my own ones. (also, im an only child)

My mother has six different mental illnesses: depression and anxiety are the main ones and she has psychosis and other issues too. She is supposed to be on a lot of medication, but she refuses to take it, so she hasnt been medicated in many many years. She has been institutionalized three times since i was born. The last time she actually was institutionalized was for two-three months back when i was in eighth grade. My juinor year of high school she was going crazy again and starving herself for weeks and threatening to kill my father (when i had started to come clean to her about how he had treated me). She was looking up gun laws in Massachusetts and stuff and trying to figure out what times of the day he and my stepmother would be home. She starved herself out of guilt. She thought and still thinks that if she never left the marriage, none of the abusive would have happened. Because she was acting so crazy, I had tried to have an intervention with her with my grandparents and my uncle. My grandfather was on my side, but my grandmother refused to have her get help and force her. She was too afraid of what the "jewish community might think" of our family if this stuff happened and she was in the paper. She was embarrassed...

Then last year she went off on me for no reason. I was drinking water and she was going off how she was going to kill me, and she was making hand motions of a gun with her hand and smiling in an evil way. She and my grandmother (who is also very very unstable) had tried to come at me and i had ran into another room and they followed me. I tried to shut myself into the room, but they were trying to get through the door. I had then called my father and had him pick me up (i opened the door and ran out of the apartment).

I never called the police, because you have to understand, this was the only life i had ever known. To me this was normal, and these are my parents. I would never had wanted them to get in trouble....

Sometimes when I'm on the phone with my parents back home about something, many times they just hang up on me when I try to talk to them. They say they cant be bothered. So yes, I do yell at them, because I am their child and they do have to deal with me. I know my boyfriend gets bothered by the way he thinks I treat them. I am not being disrespectful, but I am try

[baigh75]

yes i would tell him everything, telling someone can take a lot of things of your mind telling someone about your troubles and past troubles can be a big relive. he will be fine about it if anything he will love you more as he knows you have had a hard time and he will want to look after you. trust me tell him. im a male myself and i could only feel sympathyy for someone who has experienceded a hard life.

[vemados]

Omg that is horrible. You HAVE TO HAVE TO HAVE TOO! tell your boyfriend and tell the police. If your 18 you don't need a home but if your younger they will give you an amazing home. You put it on the interent for everyone to see so telling your bf and the police isnt any worse